Shooting for the Moon: Chapter 4

     Disclaimer: I do not claim ownership of Sailor Moon or anything 
that comprises it. This is a non-profit story written solely for my 
own enjoyment and that of anyone who wishes to read it. The story and 
original characters are mine. Please don't use them without 
permission.

***

                        Shooting for the Moon

              - A Sailor Moon Fan-Fiction by Nutzoide -


    Chapter 4: What I Want...
               A Licence to be Selfish.
    
    
    Haruka swallowed hard, remembering, and her left hand went to 
join her right on her stomach. "You didn't... He wouldn't..."
    
    Desir's smile was positively glowing, but the trace of malicious 
mischief there was undeniable. "Wish granted, Haruka-kun!"
    
    Haruka stood dumbfounded. She didn't need to ask what that magic 
had been. The insinuation was clear, but how was it even possible? 
Why would her Warlock Master have done that? Why would he have chosen 
Desir as his courier? Why her, and why now of all times?
    
    "This is a joke, right?" she asked, her voice as cold as stone. 
Her eyes burrowed into Desir, but the demonette just continued to 
smile. 
    
    "My my, Haruka-kun, whatever could you mean?"
    
    Then she realised what Desir had actually said. It had originally 
been meant for Ami. If it hadn't been so tragic Haruka would have 
smiled. The old goat had possessed a keen, affable wit with more than 
a little edge to it. She could fully believe that he would go so out 
of his way to give such a perverse gift, because there would have 
been very little harm in it. The rest of them would have been there 
to support the girl, even if the conditions were not considered 
ideal.
    
    But then, Haruka had noticed that about Seiji, and the family 
Makoto had been close to. Single parents were normal there.
    
    All the while Haruka's family watched, barely understanding what 
they were seeing. This was Rei's demon? 
    
    "What have you done to her!?" Michiru demanded. "What was that 
ball!?"
    
    Beside Haruka Hotaru looked up at her with worried eyes. Eyes 
that had suddenly lost the cautious anger of the last few days. "H-
Haruka-papa? Are you okay?"
    
    Setsuna just watched. There was no need to transform if the 
younger girls were willing to stand up to this creature without their 
magic. And it explained a lot, if her guess was correct. An awful 
lot.
    
    The three of them did not know Desir though. In an instant Ami 
was by Haruka's side, while Makoto and Minako both glared ferociously 
at Desir. "Spit it out demonette!" Makoto yelled right into Desir's 
face, still righteously boiling after trying to defend Rei. 
    
    Behind her girlfriend Rei was trembling, drawing strength from 
Usagi as the girl held her, but the shock was over now, and her 
determination had set back in. She got shakily to her feet, Usagi 
still supporting her, and glared at Desir. "Stop grinning and answer 
damn it! You never shut up before so don't start biting your lip 
now!"
    
    Under the combined verbal assault Desir sighed comically. "Ah, to 
be spurned by my old mistress, but since you all asked so nicely..."
    
    Haruka didn't give her the satisfaction. "The Art. It was Warlock 
magic, from Seiji. I didn't even think it worked here." She gave a 
brief glance towards Michiru. "I've tried."
    
    "It doesn't," Desir confirmed with a satisfied smirk. "That's why 
I had to make the capsule for it. You have *no idea* how long it took 
to make, Haruka-kun."
    
    "Stop calling me that!" Haruka suddenly yelled. Desir had never 
used proper Japanese before, why did she have to start now, mocking 
her with it?
    
    "Oh, but your suffixes are so much fun!" Desir replied gleefully. 
"But I suppose I really shouldn't, should I Haruka-papa?"
    
    Haruka flinched. She hadn't wanted to hear it from Desir's mouth. 
It also stopped the other girls in their tracks, but Ami was the 
first to recognise the reality of the situation. After all the 
misunderstandings in Seiji, how could she not? Especially if that 
magic capsule had been meant for her. "You are... pregnant."
    
    "Hmm, that is a point," Desir noted. "It should be Haruka-*mama* 
now I suppose. How very convoluted."
    
    No-one had anything to say to that. What was the proper response 
to discovering something on that scale? And for Haruka of all people.
    
    "H-Haruka-san, I'm sorry..." Ami whispered. 
    
    "As if this was somehow your fault," Michiru growled. Very few of 
them had ever heard Michiru growl before. Even with her elegant looks 
full grown tigers would have had second thoughts about taking her on 
after that. It was no surprise that Ami cringed, but the anger wasn't 
directed at her, the others realised. She was staring straight at 
Desir. "What is the meaning of this? Some sick sort of joke!? As if 
fighting for her wasn't hard enough already, you have to jump up and 
do THIS!?!" 
    
    Desir just gave her a winning smile. "Ah, you would be the 
girlfriend. How awkward for you."
    
    Michiru closed her eyes and swallowed hard, stopping herself from 
screaming. "I can assume that... this supposed child is Ami-san's?"
    
    Desir just nodded, looking strangely content. Not overly jovial 
as she had been. Just happy. "Of course. Why should she have to live 
with a consolation prize?"
    
    "I would have been happy with that," Ami suddenly said with a 
sob, surprising everyone, even Desir. "I never wanted to cause all 
this trouble."
    
    "But if there is 'all this trouble'," Desir put in, "then you 
must want her for yourself after all. Or maybe Haruka might want you 
enough to risk losing what she has." She mock sighed with that jovial 
air once again. "Oh, how wonderfully convoluted indeed!"
    
    "But how could you do this?!" Usagi challenged from behind the 
flaming demonette. "How could you do this to Michiru-san and Haruka-
san? And doesn't Ami-chan have enough to worry her without this too?! 
And even if you did make Ami-chan pregnant instead, she's still 
young, and in school, and she'd be a single mother! How would that 
have been fair either?!"
    
    Desir turned and smiled at the girl. "You would be Usagi then. 
You know, I've wanted to meet you for a long time. My Rei has all 
sorts of wonderful memories in her head about you!"
    
    "Desir!" Rei exclaimed, hoping to shut the demonette up, but 
Haruka wasn't paying attention to them, and answered Usagi's 
question.
    
    "Dumpling, I never told anyone about Japan when I was away. 
Master Daltass couldn't have known that his 'gift'," she said the 
word as though it tasted a little bitter, "would have caused problems 
for her."
    
    "But..."
    
    "I'm sure Mako-chan noticed," Haruka continued. "The nomad men 
didn't spend much time with their families. Being a single parent was 
normal there."
    
    Makoto nodded sadly as she realised the truth in that. "They were 
all like that. Juriere didn't always like it, but she just accepted 
that her husband was never there. The mothers and older children 
would all help raise the kids. Actually, that was kind of fun."
    
    "That makes sense I guess," Minako said, the pieces connecting 
inside her head. "We have enough girls to help muck out."
    
    Michiru felt an involuntary twitch. "Minako-chan, now is not the 
time. So," she said, looking daggers at their uninvited guest, "even 
if that is so, why exactly did you choose Haruka instead?"
    
    "As I said," Desir smirked, "I rather like her, so why shouldn't 
I give her a shot at the gold?"
    
    "And cause as much trouble as you can along the way," Rei added 
with vitriol.
    
    Desir giggled. "Well, it will certainly be interesting, eh? One 
night stands can become so complicated if you aren't careful!"
    
    Haruka heard Michiru trying to control her breathing, and watched 
as the woman she loved balled her fists. 
    
    "Careful?" Michiru bit out. "How exactly could they have been any 
more 'careful'!?!"
    
    Ami cringed at that, as Makoto watched, worried. 'Maybe careful 
so that she didn't get so attached,' she thought. 'Not that it helps 
now.'
    
    Michiru didn't wait for Desir's inevitable, supposedly witty 
answer. She just turned away and began to walk. "That's enough," she 
said, forcing herself to keep her composure, and not knowing which 
way she might go if she failed. "I'm going home."
    
    "Michiru-san!" Usagi called, but all the worry in the world 
wasn't going to stop her.
    
    Hotaru looked back after her. She had just sat through it all in 
stunned silence. What was she supposed to think now? Who was she 
supposed to blame? She could feel the tears burning in her eyes, but 
she couldn't scream at Ami any more. She couldn't scream at her 
surrogate father either. She loved her too much to blame her, even if 
she wanted to. 
    
    She had never slapped anyone before, and now she was throwing the 
second one that day as her hand lashed out and struck Rei across the 
cheek. "Why couldn't you stop her!?" Hotaru asked, crying openly. 
"She's your demon!!"
    
    A twisted logic perhaps, but she couldn't hit fire itself. She 
was already feeling guilty for it when she turned to Desir, sitting 
in the sacred flames, and screamed. 
    
    "I HATE YOU!"
    
    Rei stood watching the young girl run after her mother, her hand 
rubbing at her stinging cheek. But what could she do? She had never 
been able to control Desir. That had been the root of all her 
problems. "You've done your damage," she said angrily, a trace of 
fear unsteadying her voice, "so what now? If the Dark Art won't work, 
how do we get rid of you?"
    
    Desir just shook her head. "Ah, my little Rei, I don't think 
you've quite grasped the point. This world is not Seiji. Not even 
sorcery will work here. Magic can be very temperamental that way. 
Believe me, it took me years to find a way up here, and I could only 
do it because of our pact."
    
    "Years?" Makoto asked, her mind boggling. It had only been a 
month or so since their return.
    
    "Yep," Desir confirmed with a wide, self-satisfied smile. "And if 
anyone back home finds out I managed it you have no idea how much 
pain I'll be in for! But I just had to say hi again, and I had our 
little present after all."
    
    Usagi looked at the burning woman with confused pity. "How can 
you be so unkind?"
    
    "Hey, I'm sure you can give me a little credit," Desir defended, 
though she hardly seemed bothered by it. "You'll see. Your friends 
got to play Seraphi. There's something conspiring to carry you girls, 
even if it's just the winds of fate, or destiny, or whatever such 
rubbish you believe in on this world. This is just for flavour along 
the way! As for me, you can stop with the daggers Rei. I'd be 
banished if I tried to leave your little fire here, and it's hard 
enough even staying here since your reality doesn't support sorcery. 
Lucky for me our pact still has some cosmic clout." She gave Rei a 
cheeky wink. "It's not just words after all!"
    
    "So that's it?" Minako asked, not looking too happy. "You're just 
going to dump this on us and scarper?"
    
    Desir laughed. "Somehow I doubt my little Rei would like me 
sticking around!"
    
    "Let's just hope your kind do find out about this," Makoto said, 
staring Desir straight in the eyes. "Karma maybe."
    
    "And it's been charming seeing you again as well Mako. You take 
good care of my little girl, and don't keep her out too late on 
schooldays!" She gave them all a sweeping bow. "Girls, a pleasure."
    
    And with that she was gone, the sacred flames sputtering out as 
she vanished. They all stood in silence, their minds turning over 
everything that had just happened, and from the doorway the two cats 
emerged from their hiding places. 
    
    "Haruka-san," Usagi said as Rei and Makoto stepped together, "are 
you okay?"
    
    Haruka's mind was fairly blank. "... I suppose so. Technically."
    
    Ami wanted to say something to that, but she bit her lip. She 
couldn't think of a single word that wouldn't feel painful as it left 
her lips, and so she settled for slipping to her knees, looking at 
the cats and waiting for their inevitable comment.
    
    Artemis just padded over to Minako and the girl picked him up 
gently, but Luna looked at them all, and Haruka in particular, with a 
gaze that was trying to comprehend this sudden twist of fate. "I 
think we had better have that talk now, everyone." Then she looked 
over at their hostess. "Rei-chan, could I have some water please? My 
throat suddenly feels dry." 

***
    
    Rei had rarely ever needed to put up the 'Shrine Closed' sign at 
the bottom of the long stone steps, but this was one of those times. 
It was getting late, and all the patrons had retired already, but she 
felt that they were better safe than sorry. Her grandfather might 
have a few questions if he came home early from the council meet he 
had been guilt-tripped into attending, but it wouldn't have been the 
first time she ended up making excuses for herself. 
    
    As she climbed the steps back up she spotted one of the resident 
crows by the path-side. "She spooked you too, huh Phobos-chan?"
    
    The crow looked up and cawed at her, before it resumed its 
pecking around the stonework for cicadas. Rei shook her head and left 
her would-be pet to its foraging. "Or maybe not. It must be nice."
    
    The sky above had already turned the most brilliant shade of 
orange as Rei rejoined their gang, sitting outside. "Where's Setsuna-
san?" she asked as she took a seat on the decking that surrounded the 
building.
    
    "I sent her ahead," Luna replied from the middle of the paved 
path, at the 'head' of the group. "She understands this already. 
Goodness knows that we have discussed it enough. She will deal with 
Michiru."
    
    "Luna," Usagi said, not wanting to ruffle anyone's feathers right 
now, "I don't think this is the time to be telling us off."
    
    "On the contrary," Luna replied curtly. "The time for that has 
already gone, thanks to our lenience on you all. I am just making 
sure it doesn't cause any more damage."
    
    Several of the girls winced at that statement, but they didn't 
speak up. 
    
    "Haruka-san, we need to either confirm your condition or disprove 
it..."
    
    "Hey, Luna," Makoto suddenly interrupted, surprising the cat with 
her show of brass, "you can't talk about it like a disease! And 
besides, it's not even her fault!"
    
    "I'm well aware of that Makoto-chan," Luna replied, gazing 
levelly at the tall girl.  "But whatever the case we need to either 
prove or disprove that she is pregnant. Until then," she continued, 
turning to Haruka, "and from then on if you are indeed carrying, you 
are forbidden from transforming."
    
    "Luna!" Minako, Usagi and Makoto exclaimed.
    
    "Wait," Rei said to her friends, understanding the point. "We 
can't let her fight if she's going to have a baby."
    
    "And trust me," Haruka added, unable to get the touch of the Art 
out of her head, "it's real. I doubt you can fake that kind of 
feeling. The Art I mean. And it's really that bitch's style."
    
    Luna looked over to Rei, as if she would have a better grasp of 
that particular fact. Rei just nodded, looking at the ground. "Yeah, 
she'd think it was hilarious. And you heard her. I don't think she 
was lying."
    
    Luna nodded and sighed in resignation. "Very well. But please 
Haruka-san, just make sure. For your own sake."
    
    Haruka nodded. "... Yeah. But I won't give up fighting. You need 
me."
    
    "That isn't open to discussion Haruka-san." Luna sounded even 
more serious about that point. "I frankly didn't think this would 
become an issue without a little forewarning, but trying to use magic 
in your condition..." 
    
    Makoto's eyebrow twitched again, and Artemis took over as Luna 
hesitated. 
    
    "It would be problematic at best," he finished for his partner. 
"Your powers are uniquely yours, tied to your own inner energy, but 
if you are pregnant it's not just your own energy inside you any 
more. You could end up harming both yourself and your child just by 
transforming, let alone using your Senshi powers."
    
    Luna actually tried to give Haruka a smile there, though she 
didn't know how reassuring she could be right then. "We want to keep 
you safe Haruka-san, and right now that means keeping you off the 
battlefields."
    
    Usagi nodded, finally agreeing with her advisor. "It's okay 
Haruka-san. We'll be fine. These new youma seemed kind of weak 
anyway, didn't they? And we haven't seen anything in ages, so maybe 
we don't have to worry about them, at least for now."
    
    "Dumpling, we can't take that risk."
    
    "She's right Haruka-san," Ami said softly. "We can manage. We 
have to keep each other safe. It's just that, this time, it means you 
mustn't fight."
    
    Luna nodded, pleased with the clear-headedness her girls were 
showing. However... "That leads me to my second point, Ami-chan. I 
don't like the factions that keep arising among us all. Setsuna-san 
might not agree with me, but separating our forces down the middle 
serves no purpose if we don't keep each other informed."
    
    "Alright," Haruka said, already knowing where this was going. "I 
know. No more secrets, infighting, all that stuff. I've done this bit 
already Luna... And if I can't fight, it doesn't matter anyway."
    
    Luna paused, surprised by Haruka's outburst. Of course she was 
going to be tense right now, but it had been an unforeseen bit of 
information. Luna had expected a little resistance at least. "I see. 
Thank you Haruka-san. I hope the other three can also take that to 
heart."
    
    "However," she continued, "That wasn't quite my point. You have 
been doing well at coming together, your last battle proved that, but 
there are also holes appearing that could easily be taken advantage 
of."
    
    "What do you mean?" Minako asked, now rather confused. "We're 
fighting better than ever!"
    
    Artemis sighed. "Technically? Yes."
    
    "But you're choosing favourites," Luna said summing up her 
thoughts. "I was already worried enough about that with Haruka-san 
and Michiru-san."
    
    "Hey!" Makoto said, the quickest on the uptake this time, and she 
stepped closer to Rei, taking her hand almost defiantly. "You're 
saying we shouldn't be allowed to love each other!?"
    
    Luna looked at the pair and let out a sigh as Rei blushed bright 
red at the uncharacteristically open show of affection from Makoto. 
"Ideally that would be the case, but I can't choose who you fall in 
love with, or when. Just remember this Makoto-chan, you are making 
each other into targets, and when your 'partner' is taking all your 
attention, you won't be there to help your other friends when they 
need you."
    
    She looked over at Haruka. It was cruel she knew, but she needed 
to make the point, and make it as strongly as possible. "I have been 
trying for years to break Usagi-chan and Mamoru-kun's dangerous 
habits in that regard. Likewise, Setsuna has had far more success in 
training Haruka-san and Michiru-san, but it still cost them their 
lives in the Marine Cathedral, didn't it Haruka-san?"
    
    Luna watched guiltily as Haruka's eyes bored into the ground. She 
had not seen the strong, confident young woman cry before, but then, 
she also guessed that some of that confidence was only skin deep. She 
was already regretting how far she had gone before Haruka got to her 
feet and slowly headed for the steps, not wanting to let the others 
see her tears.
    
    "Haruka-san, wait!" Usagi, Makoto and Ami cried out, but Haruka 
had been driven too far for one day. She just wanted to be alone. She 
wanted time to think. She wanted a simple way out. Even a reset 
button would have done. 
    
    She reached into her pocket and took out her transformation pen.
    
    "Haruka-san!" Luna exclaimed, but she needn't have worried. 
Haruka just let the thing fall from her fingers.
    
    "I'll want it back, you hear me!?" Haruka shouted, standing 
hunched in the last of the orange sunset before she started down the 
steps.
    
    "Luna," Ami said, her own eyes watering in sympathy, "that was 
too cruel!"
    
    Luna looked ashamed at that. "Maybe. But you understand what I am 
saying. I would rather hurt you now than let you get each other hurt 
in battle."
    
    The others seemed to accept that, regardless of what they felt 
inwardly, but Makoto remained defiant. "You can't dictate to me. Not 
about this Luna. I won't give her up!"
    
    Luna watched as Makoto wrapped her arms protectively around Rei. 
"I doubt I need to ask," Luna replied, "but I won't need to worry 
about either of you following in Haruka's footsteps, will I?"
    
    Makoto held Rei tighter, glaring at the cat.
    
    "No Luna," Rei replied, feeling uneasy all of a sudden. "I don't 
think that demon will be coming back any time soon." Not if she could 
help it anyway. Even if that meant giving up her fire readings.
    
    "And I know I've already spoken about it with Usagi-chan," Luna 
added. "At great length."
    
    Usagi nodded, but her mind wasn't really on the lecture. She was 
feeling bad about Haruka and Michiru, but she did at least answer. 
    
    "We're careful."
    
    "And you don't need to look at me like that," Minako said, pre-
empting Luna. "I've always been careful. If I wasn't my parents would 
kill me. Literally. Actually, if they knew the truth I'd probably be 
in trouble anyway, but yeah."
    
    Luna decided that that was enough for one evening. She had 
already driven one of her best fighters off, even if she couldn't 
fight at present, and at least one other now hated her guts. "Okay. 
That's all then. The rest is up to you girls. Just make sure you can 
live up to the choices you make, both on and off the battlefield. 
Please."

***
    
    Michiru sat on the comfortable leather, feeling - and not for the 
first time - that their sofa was far too big for just one person. It 
was one of those feelings that came to her at the strangest of 
moments, as if her mind was trying to distract itself, regardless of 
whether she wanted to be distracted or not. She never let it show, 
but she could be distracted a little too easily at times. That was 
what made her painting so intriguing. She could give those 
distractions form, whether in the details of a still-life or the 
surrealism of a dreamscape.
    
    Right now however her observant self-distraction was not so 
welcome. She wanted to indulge in the luxury of brooding, since she 
felt herself too mature and self-possessed to properly act out. She 
had been working on a nice, dark bit of brooding before the overly 
empty sofa had decided to occupy her mind, and it left her 
struggling. She wanted to feel bad now, really and truly awful, so 
that she could get it all out of the way. She had a daughter to 
comfort, and a lover to deal with. 
    
    That was 'deal with' as in try to understand her plight. As in 
try to forgive her with her heart and not just with words. Try to 
reclaim at least some of the trust and emotional intimacy that had 
connected them so deeply. That wasn't an easy thing, she knew, even 
if that intimacy meant that she knew how Haruka would be feeling, now 
that this had been done to her. 
    
    And finally she realised that she did have an outlet for her 
flailing emotions. A very simple one, to whom any damage she did 
would be healed in almost no time at all. 
    
    "You can say something now," Michiru bit out, relieved that her 
imagined solitude was broken. Now she could be angry to her heart's 
content.
    
    "I doubt that a simple, sympathetic apology will help," Setsuna 
replied, standing by the counter that separated the kitchen and 
living room. And though the words were cold, the voice that spoke 
them was one laced with sadness. That had been the apology.
    
    "Spare me your abstruse insight," Michiru replied, getting to her 
feet and letting herself frown freely at her mentor and friend. The 
woman who had been, from the beginning, a second mother to her child. 
"You knew about this, didn't you? All of it. Did you think we 
wouldn't notice you spending so much time at that Gate of yours when 
Haruka came home? I just didn't realise why."
    
    Setsuna just accepted the accusations. They were mostly true 
after all. Against most people Setsuna would have had none of it, but 
Michiru at least deserved the few answers Setsuna could give. "I felt 
the changes when she returned," Setsuna admitted, very 
straightforward. "The future had changed so violently when they all 
left our universe, and the reverse was also true. I didn't know why 
the threads of fate had been altered, I could just see that they had. 
You of all people know that the future is not an exact science."
    
    "But this can't have been part of our future!!" Michiru 
exclaimed, furious and distraught. "Why couldn't you tell me 
something like this!?" And then some of the energy left her in a sigh 
and a sob. "Even if I'd have to deal with it anyway, you could have 
told me. Especially then."
    
    "That is true," Setsuna admitted again. "This was never a part of 
our timeline. But it is now. A very important part in fact. It will 
not affect the rise of Crystal Tokyo, and what I can see of our 
future before then, if we continue on the right path, is one that may 
prove brighter."
    
    "But what about *US*!?" Michiru countered.  "What about Haruka 
and I?! How can this be brighter?"
    
    Setsuna gave her a sad smile. "Some things change very little, 
Michiru, no matter how much the future shifts. Haruka and yourself 
have always been together, in one way or another, and largely for the 
best. Regardless of how you come out of this challenge, the two of 
you will be close, and you will be happy to have lived through it, as 
long as you let yourself."
    
    Then she said the words that Michiru didn't want to hear. "And, 
by contrast, you have always had your times apart. And again, those 
are largely for the best."
    
    "SHUT UP! That's not true! I still love her, and she'll still 
love me! I'll make sure of it!! I still want her... don't I?"
    
    Setsuna tried to give her a comforting smile, even though Michiru 
had shut her eyes in an attempt to ward off what she was hearing. 
"You will always love one another, for as long as you both live, but 
love is a difficult thing when the years become decades, and the 
decades become centuries. You know that, on some level. Even if you 
won't truly understand it until you have lived it."
    
    "And I won't tell you what happens now," Setsuna finished. "With 
so many possibilities, and so many choices for you all to make, it 
would be little better than a guess. But you have lived through the 
latest phase of your relationship properly, finding your own answers. 
That is the only way to satisfy fate."
    
    Michiru stood there and clenched her fists. "... That doesn't 
tell me anything... Even 'we'll always be together in some way', that 
could mean anything! We could be dead and it would still fulfil your 
useless prophesies! Are you saying I'm supposed to leave her!? We're 
supposed to make it work somehow!?"
    
    Setsuna laid a hand on Michiru's arm. "If the choices were not 
yours to make, it would not be your life."
    
    "I hate you sometimes!"
    
    "... I know."

***
    
    Ami felt numb. She wasn't sure what else she was supposed to be 
feeling right now, but whatever it was that emotion wasn't there. It 
wasn't the overly emotional, teenage angst 'numb' that so many 
depressing singers went on about either. It was just a calm sort of 
blankness, and her thoughts skittered across it like confused kittens 
across an icy pond. They knew there was supposed to be some sort of 
traction to them, but when they moved their metaphorical paws it 
didn't seem to have much effect.
    
    Perhaps it wasn't a lack of feeling, but that she was feeling 
everything all at once. She was happy for herself that her feelings 
for Haruka, however superfluous they were, had been given some sort 
of vindication. She was upset that these events were causing more and 
more problems for everyone around her. She felt humbled that the 
Warlock had considered her, and them, worthy of such a gift. She 
hated her ego for thinking that this was something to be happy about. 
Worried for Haruka, guilty for herself, relieved for Rei that Desir 
could not do anything more in this world - it all came together in 
one soupy brown mixture which left her thoughts with no anchor, since 
no one emotion was willing to take ground over the others.
    
    She turned her key in the door, only to find it unlocked. In her 
current state of mind it was just one more skittering kitten of 
curiosity that flitted through her brain before she continued inside. 
She would have to try and remember that image to tell the others. It 
would probably make them smile.
    
    "I'm home," she called out, mostly out of reflex, but this time 
she did get a reply.
    
    "Welcome back," her mother called in return. "Ami, could you join 
me please?"
    
    Ami registered that request as she slipped off her shoes. Why 
would her mother be home early on a weekday? It wasn't even ten o' 
clock yet.
    
    The answer, it turned out, was sitting obviously on the coffee 
table that her mother sat at. "Ami, I know you are not feeling too 
well at the moment, but we need to talk. One of the nurses at work 
gave me this."
    
    Ami's eyes locked onto the open magazine, and the image of 
Michiru and herself just after their moment of altercation the 
previous day.
    
    "The article makes for upsetting reading," Katsura said levelly, 
"but I would much rather hear the honest explanation. This is why you 
have been so depressed recently, isn't it?"
    
    Ami just continued to stare. Finally one of her emotions was 
winning. She had let her mother down, and now she had to admit it. 
"M-Mother," she stammered, trying to keep her voice level. "It is... 
complicated," she finally finished, lamely.
    
    "I would expect so," Katsura said with a sigh. "Especially after 
I came home to find yourself and Tenoh-san fully dressed, asleep on 
this settee."
    
    Ami felt herself failing. Her eyes itched, but she couldn't cry. 
"I'm sorry Mother. I'm so sorry!"
    
    Katsura got up as Ami hid her face in her hands, and she wrapped 
her arms around her daughter. "I don't need you to be sorry, Ami. I 
know you are not the type of girl to cause trouble. What I need is to 
be told why. Do you understand how worried I have been? I have you 
back, and yet I can't do a thing to help you."
    
    Ami wept tearlessly into her mother's arms. "I love her! I can't 
help it!"
    
    Katsura sighed again as she comforted her. "And you kept it a 
secret, and now Kaioh-san knows."
    
    Ami nodded into her mother's shoulder. "We were both so lonely, 
and our powers made us hurt, and it was only one night! That was 
supposed to be the end of it! Why did all of this have to happen?"
    
    'So they did do something,' Katsura thought. She didn't like it, 
but there it was. "You always were a late bloomer," she said. "But 
you're an adult Ami, and these things happen. Even if it was," she 
swallowed hard as she tried to say the words, "only for one night, 
you were in that world together for a long time. Are you going to try 
and take her for yourself?"
    
    "No!" Ami said, finally looking up. "I... I can't do that. It's 
not right." But then she had already done enough that 'wasn't right', 
she thought sadly. "I don't know if it matters now though."
    
    Katsura looked at her questioningly, and with more than a hint of 
worry. "What do you mean?"
    
    "It..." Ami hesitated, "has got very complicated."
    
    Katsura didn't follow. "How do you mean? Complicated enough for 
Kaioh-san to strike you?"
    
    "No," Ami said, shaking her head. "That was just... that was 
before. You know that Minako-chan said there was a demon in Seiji, 
when she was giving her press conference? We had to deal with that 
demon a lot, and she decided to visit us tonight."
    
    Katsura went white. "You are serious? You are okay, aren't you 
Ami? What about your friends?"
    
    Ami bowed her head. It took her an age to say it. "She decided 
that Haruka-san and myself shouldn't be exempt from the risks of... 
what we did."
    
    Katsura swallowed. Hard.
    
    "Haruka is pregnant."
    
    This time it was Katsura's turn to falter with her words. "... H-
how is that possible?"
    
    So Ami explained. About the Art of the Warlocks, about the 
misunderstandings in Seiji over Ami's illness, and about the Warlock 
Master's bastardised good intentions.
    
     It actually felt good to say it. What didn't feel so good was 
her mother's shell-shocked reaction.
    
    "Well, there is some of your father in you after all," Katsura 
finally said. "When he did make things complicated, he never did it 
half-way."
    
    Ami buried her head in her mother's shoulder again. "I'm sorry!"
    
    "The question is," Katsura said, "if this only happened tonight, 
what are Tenoh-san and Kaioh-san going to do?"
    
    "I don't know," Ami replied quietly. "Michiru-san just left. And 
Haruka-san... I don't know."
    
    Her mother gave her a gentle nudge. "And you? You have a very 
real voice in this Ami."
    
    "I don't know! I... I just don't know. I'm scared. I don't even 
know what I want now!"
    
    "It's okay," Katsura replied, retracting the question. "This 
is... rather unprecedented for anyone, I suspect. Even the Senshi."
    
    Ami curled further into her mother's embrace, and in the back of 
her mind Katsura had to wonder.
    
    "Ami, you have met Minako-chan's parents quite a few times, 
haven't you?"
    
    "M-Minako-chan's?" Ami asked, confusion breaking her out of her 
dry tears. "Not often, but I suppose so. W-why?"
    
    "Oh, it's nothing," Katsura lied. "I just met them again, 
recently. I'd had forgotten how flaky they seemed!"
    
    "Mother!" Ami exclaimed, shocked at the openly expressed opinion. 
"That's not nice! They are just busy, because Aino-san can't earn 
much. Especially after his company made him redundant and he had to 
find a new job." She sighed. "Actually Mako-chan thinks the same way, 
but it's not their fault. They are very nice people, even if there is 
a little friction between them sometimes."
    
    Katsura relented, still probing secretly for information. "I 
understand. I just didn't see them as the most down-to earth people."
    
    She was glad when Ami actually giggled at that. "Oh, Minako-chan 
might be flighty, but that's just her. Her parents are too serious 
for her. Especially her father. I think that's why they don't get on 
sometimes."
    
    That was what Katsura had wanted to know. The problem was it 
didn't help her disbelieve the crazy notions she had picked up from 
the Aino patriarch. "I see. Never mind then."
    
    She put it out of her mind and brightened, especially in the wake 
of her daughter's small giggles. It felt like an age since she had 
last seen her smile. "Ami, since I am here, why don't we go out to 
dinner, the two of us. You didn't leave anything to drain, so you 
haven't eaten, have you?"
    
    Ami shook her head. "No. I wasn't hungry."
    
    Katsura nodded, that settling the issue. "Then let's go. Just for 
now you should try to relax. And so do I, for that matter."
    
    Ami nodded. She needed to clear her head if she was ever going to 
sort out what she was going to do now. Assuming she could do 
anything. "Okay. Let's."

***
    
    Rei was a diligent worker at their family shrine. She always had 
been, ever since she had first donned the red and white robes of a 
shrine maiden. Her enthusiasm had waned over time, to be sure, but 
out of that enthusiasm had grown a fond habit for her duties. Even 
the most boring of tasks, like sweeping those seemingly eternal stone 
steps, had become natural to her. 
    
    And, at those times of boredom that would have sent blonder girls 
screaming at the unfairness of the task, Rei was content to let her 
mind wander. Especially at those times when her head seemed so 
cluttered, like that morning. They had all found themselves in, to 
some degree or other, quite a difficult mess. And, to her mind, it 
only seemed natural to take some of that blame. She should have done 
more than just cower and scream when Desir had appeared. After all 
that time fighting against the demonette's influences, and this was 
all she had to show for it? It was sad really, she thought with a wry 
sense of self-deprecating humour. Just a bit pathetic.
    
    But still, she had got off lightly. Unlike the girl who was 
climbing the steps to meet her. Rei felt bad for her, maybe more so 
than the others. No matter what happened now, the girl would just be 
pulled along for the ride. "Good morning Hotaru-chan," Rei greeted, 
giving her a wise and comforting smile. "How are you feeling?"
    
    Hotaru didn't look very good if Rei told herself the truth. The 
girl had lost a lot of sleep that night, and she carried her hands 
together, down in front of her, looking very small and self-effacing. 
Rei hadn't seen her look like that since she had been moved up into 
high school. 
    
    "Rei-san," Hotaru said in a squeaking, apologetic voice. "I... 
I'm sorry. I shouldn't have treated you like that yesterday."
    
    Rei shook her head and waved the apology off, her surprisingly 
light tone making Hotaru raise her head in surprise. "Don't worry 
about it," Rei replied with a smile, as if it was nothing. "It's not 
like I haven't been slapped before, and for a lot less than that! A 
good slap can make you feel better, right?"
    
    "I shouldn't have blamed you though," Hotaru insisted.
    
    Rei sighed. Hotaru could be so serious and worried at times, but 
she supposed it was only to be expected right now. "Why don't you 
come up to the shrine? We can have some tea."
    
    Hotaru seemed shocked at the offer, but it sparked a glint of 
relief in her eyes. "You don't mind?"
    
    "Why would I?" Rei responded, taking the girl's hand and marching 
her up to the torii gate. "We're friends!"
    
    Rei was glad to finally see Hotaru smile at that, and the girl 
even flushed a little. Just a little. That made Rei smile. Just as it 
was easy to tease her, Hotaru looked just as adorable when 
embarrassed by praise or affection. Rei could see why Haruka was so 
often flirty with the younger girls if that was the reaction she got.
    
    Their friendship was not simply one of proximity though. Hotaru 
had always tried to bridge the gap between 'Outer' and 'Inner' when 
they were not fulfilling their duties as Senshi, and in Rei she had 
found an unusual ally. They both had a power in common that set them 
out from their peers at school: Rei's precognitive sight and Hotaru's 
innate ability to heal. Where the others had little in common besides 
the fact that they worked and socialised together, the two of them 
had become firm friends because they knew was it was like to be 
different to some degree. 
    
    "So," Rei said as she poured the tea, the two of them sitting in 
the main room of the shrine, "do you want to talk about it?"
    
    Hotaru looked down into her cup as it was handed to her. "I don't 
know. It hurts a little, knowing that Haruka-papa cheated. Even if 
there were reasons. I don't want to hate her, but it's mostly her 
fault."
    
    "Sometimes we do hate the people we love most," Rei replied, 
"because we think they should know better."
    
    Hotaru looked at her. "Do you think that way about Ami-san?"
    
    Rei wondered about that, and why Hotaru had even thought of it. 
She supposed it was a simple bit of symmetry - almost logical in some 
respects. "No," she finally replied. "I don't think less of her. It 
has changed how I see her, but not for the better or worse. We all 
make our choices in love, knowing that we might get burned by them 
later."
    
    "Isn't this a little too much?" Hotaru asked despondently. 
"Everyone is hurting now. I just want us to be a happy family again. 
I'm sure Michiru-mama wants that too. Even of she doesn't know how."
    
    "And Haruka-san?"
    
    Hotaru closed her eyes. "She didn't come home last night."
    
    Rei's heart went out to the girl. Her own parental situation had 
rarely been ideal either, so she could imagine what Hotaru must have 
been going through. "Hotaru-chan..."
    
    "Maybe it's for the best though," Hotaru said, actually trying to 
alleviate Rei's concern for her. "I was so angry at Haruka-papa. If 
she had come home I would just have wanted her to go away. Now, I 
just want her to come home after all."
    
    "She will," Rei comforted, taking Hotaru's hands in her own. 
"After all the time she spent trying to get back to you, she won't be 
gone long. I bet she just needs time to think too."
    
***
    
    "No. To be honest I'm glad of the space."
    
    Usagi looked up from the cake she was icing so intently. "What? 
Really?" she asked. She was intrigued, but at the same time she was 
stepping carefully on the unsure ground.
    
    "Is it that hard to believe?" Michiru replied simply. "I remember 
you saying a similar thing when you threatened to move back home."
    
    "Oh, that. I see." It made sense when it was put like that. "I 
guess you really had a big fight. I'm sorry."
    
    "Not a fight," Michiru corrected her, and she walked over and 
began to help sculpt the icing. "It has just been... very awkward. 
Especially around Hotaru."
    
    "She's not here today either?"
    
    Michiru shook her head. "No. It will do her good to get out of 
the house, and away from us. I don't want to talk to Haruka about the 
situation with Hotaru around. I would rather get any unpleasantness 
over with before we involve her."
    
    "I can understand that," Usagi replied. It was all such a shame. 
"Do you know what you're going to do though? If it was me, I wouldn't 
know."
    
    Michiru smiled, but only on the surface. "No, I don't know. I 
don't think I will until Haruka comes home. I know what I want, but I 
don't know if I can deal with it if I'm allowed it."
    
    Usagi didn't want to ask - it felt so personal, prying into 
Michiru's private life - but her own worry won out over her unsteady 
discretion. "So, what do you want? Surely that would be a good thing, 
right?"
    
    "I would like to think so," Michiru replied. "I want to get over 
this, and go back to a time when I was all that Haruka needed. Well, 
Hotaru and I were all she needed, and they were all I needed."
    
    "But in reality," she sighed, "I don't even know if I can be 
there for her now, knowing that Ami-san has lain in that place. And 
knowing that Haruka received something from her that is more intimate 
and binding than I could ever offer. Even if it wasn't intended. 
Emotions are unreasonable like that sometimes."
    
    Usagi nodded, deeply conflicted over how she should feel at that 
point. After all the time they had spent helping each other over the 
last months they had become very close friends, but she had to ask, 
even though she didn't like the answer she was expecting to hear. 
    
    "Are you going to make her get rid of the baby?"
    
    Michiru took a deep breath. "If I could, I just might. But I know 
her too well to think that I could force her hand one way or the 
other this time. She'll choose the right thing to do."
    
    "So, you think she will anyway?" Usagi asked sadly as she 
finished her icing. She didn't think that was very fair, but then it 
wasn't her body, or her family, who would have to deal with the 
consequences.
    
    "Who knows what the right thing really is?" Michiru asked in 
return. "Haruka is so much more complicated than she ever says. That 
was part of why I liked her."

***
    
    Evening had long since drawn in by the time Mamoru was finally 
allowed out of work. True, the only pressure he had been under was 
that his workmates and colleagues had all stayed late as well, but he 
was grateful when his overly diligent conscience let him call it a 
night.
    
    He wished he had brought his bike. If anything he felt he was a 
little out of shape, so he had taken to travelling by public 
transport, which was giving him a good walk at either end of his 
journey, but that night it meant that he was going to be very late 
for dinner. Usagi had said she didn't mind on the phone, but even so 
he thought it was a little unfair. 
    
    Not that he had much choice. The busses were still running a good 
service, thankfully, so that was something, and at least he was not 
stuck with the usual rush hour scrum. In fact walking through Juuban 
park at the other end was positively peaceful. He could already smell 
Usagi's cooking in the yellow-orange illumination of the park lights. 
    
    Actually, he could smell a rather nice beef noodle of some sort, 
now that he thought about it. His stomach growled in anticipation, 
but he paid it no mind and turned his thoughts outward, down the 
path. On the bench, only a little way down, someone leaned back, his 
head lolling over the back as the box of noodles sat in his smartly 
dressed lap.
    
    Mamoru was about to think nothing more of it, until he got a few 
steps closer, and realised that the shirt this young 'man' wore 
wasn't quite hanging right around 'his' chest.
    
    "Haruka-san?"
    
    Haruka lifted her head up and out of the shadows that fell behind 
the bench. "Hey," she greeted, though hardly sounding enthusiastic. 
"A little late for a walk isn't it?"
    
    "A little late for dinner as well," Mamoru replied, looking at 
the box of slowly cooling noodles.
    
    Haruka looked down at them herself. "You want them? I thought I 
was hungry, but..."
    
    Mamoru shook his head, smiling slightly at the offer. "No thanks. 
I have an experimental pasta to get home to. Do you mind if I sit?"
    
    Haruka grew a similar smile, and shook her head. "Dumpling must 
be getting more adventurous."
    
    Mamoru took a seat, the pair of them sitting a casually safe 
distance from one another. "Usagi told me what happened," he said, 
after a moment's consideration.
    
    Haruka let her head fall back again. "I thought as much."
    
    "Everyone's worried about you."
    
    Haruka cracked a wry smile. "Are you?"
    
    "Should I be?" Mamoru countered.
    
    Haruka didn't answer that. Not immediately anyway. "I don't know. 
It's none of your business."
    
    Mamoru frowned, suddenly slighted. "Yes it is, Tenoh-san. It's my 
business because Usagi is going to do everything she can to be 
involved in helping you out of this mess. And I'll do what I can to 
help her do that. How you feel about me doesn't even enter into it."
    
    "Hmmf," Haruka breathed. "You think you can solve all our 
problems just by standing there, as usual."
    
    "Or rather," Mamoru pointed out, annoyed, "you just don't want 
help from a man."
    
    Haruka glared at him. "Don't flatter yourself."
    
    "Well," Mamoru said with a sigh, getting to his feet, "if you 
would rather sit here and wallow in your problems, that's your 
business." He decided to take a risk. "It's not as though they are 
such hard problems to figure out."
    
    Haruka's head shot up and she stared at him with unrestrained 
anger. "W-what did you just say?! You don't know ANYTHING!!"
    
    "True, but I probably know enough," he replied. "Usagi is very 
well informed. You might be one of the major victims in all this 
Haruka-san, but you hold all the cards. You just have to decide what 
you want. What you *truly* want. After that everything will slot into 
the places you have assigned."
    
    "Do you even know what's going on!?" Haruka yelled, deeply 
confused by Mamoru's psychobabble. "There is no way to fix this! What 
I want doesn't even matter! I'm..." Her anger collapsed in on itself, 
leaving Haruka slumped on the bench in hopelessness.  "There is no 
right choice. No matter what I do, everyone is going to end up hurt!"
    
    "You've made decisions like that in the past," Mamoru reminded 
her. "They might not have been 'right', but to you they were 
*necessary*."
    
    "I don't think I can do that any more. Not on my own."
    
    Mamoru shook his head and sat back down, closer this time. A 
comforting distance. "Since when have you ever been alone? Yes, you 
are going to get hurt, so decide what you want. Who is more important 
to you? What is more important? Who do you want to hurt *least*? What 
are you *not* willing to sacrifice? You just have to decide what it 
is you want."
    
    Haruka was silent for a long time. "I can't make that kind of 
choice when it's just about being selfish!"
    
    "Then the person you are willing to hurt most is yourself. Given 
the circumstances, that is also going to hurt everyone else even 
more, even if you don't mean it to."
    
    "But I can't have what I want!" Haruka exclaimed. "It's not 
possible."
    
    "But you do at least know what it is," Mamoru said, trying to 
calm her. "Now you just have to decide how much of it you will allow 
yourself. After all, if it really was impossible, you wouldn't be 
entertaining the thought of it. We may not always get along, but I 
know you that well, I think."
    
    They sat in silence for a moment as Haruka digested that. "So 
that's the man's perspective, is it?" Haruka asked, trying to be 
confrontational and not succeeding very well.
    
    "That's the perspective of the most objective outsider you have," 
Mamoru replied. "If you can't have the happiest ending, look for the 
one that hurts you the least. No matter what you choose, even if it 
ends up crushing them at first, the others will forgive you for it. 
That's what they are like. Even Michiru-san, I would bet. They love 
you too much to hold it against you."
    
    "Well," he said, getting to his feet and letting his voice slip 
back into a more casual tone, "that's enough of that for one night, 
wouldn't you agree? I have a new and exciting dinner to get home to. 
I hope you sleep well when you finally get there, Haruka-san. 
Preferably not out here though."
    
    Haruka nodded, and stirred her chopsticks around in her lukewarm 
meal. It was time she started heading home too. "Tell Dumpling I'm 
okay, Mamoru-san. We don't want the ladies worrying."
    
    Mamoru nodded, smiling slightly. "I will."

***
    
    Rei reached up to Makoto's cheek, playfully running her fingers 
through the taller girl's hair. "I like it though," she said, wearing 
the baubled hair band on her wrist. "You should let it down more."
    
    "It gets tangled though," Makoto justified, running her own 
fingers through Rei's hair as her girlfriend's head lay on her lap. 
"Not all of us have such well behaved hair. I don't know how you do 
it."
    
    "Lots of tender loving care," Rei smiled cheekily. "You know, I 
never thought your hair was this curly."
    
    "Only because you keep wrapping it around your fingers." Makoto 
wanted to get off the topic of her hair now. It was tickling her, and 
giving Rei far too much leverage on her. "Why did we even start 
talking about this?"
    
    "Because I think you look good like this, and you're too stubborn 
to accept my kind flattery!"
    
    Makoto sighed, switching track. "Anyway, I'm glad Hotaru-chan 
came. I know that upset you."
    
    Rei's smile turned more gentle. "Yeah, well... She's a good kid. 
Can I still call her a kid?"
    
    "As long as she's not around," Makoto answered. "Now come on, get 
off me. My legs are too long and they've gone to sleep!"
    
    "Aww," Rei crooned, rolling over and letting Makoto stretch 
herself out on the polished wood of the shrine floor. "Poor Makoto's 
legs. You malign them too much."
    
    Then, much to Makoto's pleasure, Rei began to massage those 
tingling calves with long, practiced stokes. "Mako-chan, you shaved 
today!"
    
    "I shave every day!" Makoto replied, feigning some annoyance at 
the accusation. "Well, almost. I don't have a choice if I want to 
wear a skirt."
    
    "Don't tell me you don't own any tights?"
    
    Makoto nodded, telling the truth. "I haven't since... probably 
high school. They kept tearing and after a while I just gave up 
replacing them."
    
    "Mmm," Rei said with a grin, "that means long socks for you!"
    
    "Hey," Makoto said, lightly swatting at her before she grinned 
herself, "none of that!"
    
    She pulled her legs away from Rei's touch and leaned up onto her 
knees, bringing her within reach of the teasing shrine maiden. "All 
better," she whispered, before leaving a quick kiss on Rei's lips. 
"Thanks."
    
    "My pleasure," Rei winked, and Makoto kissed her again, this time 
letting it linger. 
    
    "I like this tea," Makoto whispered, wrapping her arms around 
Rei, and Rei blushed mightily.
    
    "Don't say that when I haven't served you any!"
    
    "Just a little bitter," Makoto prodded, taking the role of tease 
this time, "but not too much."
    
    Rei shivered in anticipation as Makoto kissed the lobe of the ear 
that she whispered into. "Makoto..." She placed a kiss of her own, 
long and affectionate, onto Makoto's arched neck. 
    
    "I love you," Makoto whispered.
    
    Those words brought out that rich, velvet blossom in Rei's chest 
again. She loved Makoto too, but she couldn't say it. The words 
caught in her throat, ready to insinuate far more than she wanted. 
Makoto's hands began to trace gently across her back and down her 
right side, smoothing out her robes against her skin. It was 
luxurious, Rei wanted nothing more than to let that touch closer to 
her, but that touch also brought with it the slow, emerging crawl in 
her stomach. As Makoto's next kiss landed gently and lovingly against 
her cheek the crawling grew stronger, no longer contained beneath the 
pleasant, romantic haze. 
    
    That conflict scared her. Somehow, she knew she was no longer 
safe. Not safe from Makoto, but safe from... herself? It wasn't 
Makoto's new, seductive touch, but her own reaction that made her 
struggle.
    
    "M-Makoto... Makoto, wait..."
    
    Her hands pressed against the girl's shoulders, forcing them 
away, but Makoto's thumb was already tracing the line of her robe 
around her collar. The crawl grew at the intimate contact, and Rei 
reacted. "Mako stop, please!"
    
    She did. Rei looked up at Makoto's face and instantly felt guilty 
for it. "I-I'm sorry," Rei said suddenly, beating her girlfriend to 
the first word. "I just..."
    
    Makoto looked as hurt as she felt, but worse was her confusion. 
Hadn't Rei wanted that? Why was it always these sudden changes of 
heart? "I don't get it. You were all over me before. I thought, you 
know, you were ready for this. Why are you always giving these mixed 
signals?!"
    
    Rei was surprised to hear the growing anxiety in Makoto's voice. 
"Mako, it's not like that..."
    
    "Then how is it?!" Makoto countered. "Tell me. Tell me how it is. 
I love you Rei, I mean it, but if you don't want to... If you don't 
want *me*, then just tell me! If that's it, if it's because it's me, 
then don't just humour me."
    
    "No!" Rei called back as Makoto slowly got to her bare feet. "I 
do love you! I proved that! I proved it in Seiji. I'm just not ready. 
Not yet."
    
    "But why?" Makoto asked, as if it was the most simple question in 
the world.
    
    Rei could only look up at Makoto's confused face. "I don't know," 
she replied honestly. "I wish I did, but I don't."
    
    Makoto closed her eyes. "I'll... call you tomorrow."
    
    Every instinct in her body told her to do otherwise, but Rei let 
her go. Why was it only now, as her girlfriend walk away, that her 
body wanted Makoto to be there with her unconditionally? What was 
that supposed to mean? Rei knew she loved her, so why did Makoto's 
intimacy make her so uncomfortable? She even liked it, she knew that. 
It was just when that crawling inner conflict intruded... What was 
that?

***
    
    Ami watched with curiosity as she sat cross legged on the bed, 
watching Makoto change. Her closest friend had always been 
experimental with her clothing, even when compared to clothes horses 
like Rei and Minako, and pyjamas seemed to be no exception. Aside 
from the multi-coloured leathers that Makoto had become so attached 
to Ami doubted if she had ever seen her in the same sleepwear more 
than once.
    
    And between them all they had had their fair share of slumber 
parties and sleepovers.
    
    That night it was comfort pyjamas, baggy and huge with yellow 
stars dotted around the pale green fabric. It was actively cute on a 
girl who must have been approaching five feet ten now, if she hadn't 
already got there. Ami didn't doubt that those clothes had been in 
the men's section when she had bought them, and Makoto had added the 
stars herself to hide the fact. 
    
    "When did you buy those?" she asked, making conversation. "I 
don't think I've seen them before."
    
    Makoto looked around and shrugged, rather self conscious about 
the faint blush of Ami's cheeks. It wasn't the first time they had 
changed around each other after all. Not by a long shot. "They're 
old, I don't wear them much. They look a bit, uh, childish now. 
They're comfy though."
    
    Ami nodded. "They still look good on you."
    
    Makoto looked at her for a moment before shaking her head. 
"Thanks." Once she had buttoned up the shirt she took her own cross 
legged seat on the bed. "I mean thanks for coming over. I sort of 
needed some company."
    
    Ami agreed with that sentiment. "Thank you for allowing me here."
    
    "You too?"
    
    Ami nodded. "Mother found out about Haruka-san. And Michiru-san 
and... the potential baby, and all of that."
    
    Makoto swallowed hard. "About the Senshi?"
    
    "No, not everything," Ami answered. "But I had to tell her about 
Desir. I think she suspects that I'm a murderer too."
    
    "What?! But you're not!"
    
    Ami didn't seem too worried about it, when Makoto actually looked 
properly. "Yes, I am. And I could see it in her eyes. I don't know 
how, but she knows. That worried pity." Makoto could see the mist in 
Ami's eyes as she said it. "I never wanted her to look at me like 
that."
    
    "Ami-chan," Makoto comforted, "we did what we had to do. Most of 
us did a lot more damage than you did. And we all make mistakes."
    
    "They weren't mistakes," Ami replied, simply, but with a sad 
sigh. "It wasn't a mistake to be with Haruka, and it wasn't a mistake 
to kill the people we killed. Mako-chan, it doesn't matter what you 
dress it up as. I wanted that man dead, and, thanks to Rei-chan and 
myself, he died. I've accepted that."
    
    Makoto didn't believe that. Not if Ami's blue mood was anything 
to go by. "Have you? Rei hasn't, she's just being strong. I don't 
think Haruka-san's letting on how much her power affected her either. 
Probably Minako-chan too."
    
    "And you?" Ami asked, almost hopefully.
    
    Makoto gave Ami a dry smile, hoping to lift her spirit. "I got 
chucked out of school for getting caught fighting, remember? As long 
as it's for you guys, I can live with it."
    
    Ami smiled back and sighed, wiping her eyes. "It's that easy?"
    
    "Nope," Makoto grinned, "but it sounds good!"
    
    "Seriously Mako-chan!" Ami let out, exasperated but fighting her 
own smile. "Seriously, how do you do it?"
    
    "Easy," Makoto said. "They attacked us. They might have killed 
us. There's all the ideology and morality behind it, but that's 
enough for me. We had to be extreme, because we didn't have any 
choice."
    
    Ami absorbed that slowly. "And what about love? How do you deal 
with that?"
    
    That one knocked Makoto's happy mood down a little. "Uhh, badly," 
she quipped, though she thought it sounded rather lame for a joke. "I 
don't think you want my advice there Ami-chan. Rei is the first one I 
think I got right, and I might be screwing that up too."
    
    It was only then that Ami remembered that it was Makoto who had 
invited her over. Of course she needed to talk. "Why?" Ami asked, 
switching easily into her supportive mentality. 
    
    "I got frustrated," Makoto answered, summing up her worries. 
"Rei... You don't mind if I tell you this stuff, do you?"
    
    "No, go ahead," Ami said, correctly guessing what to expect. 
"It's okay."
    
    "We were just lying around, and you've seen Rei like that. She 
gets all touchy-feely, playing around. And I like that, it's cute and 
kind of embarrassing, but in a good way. And we ended up making out, 
and that was fine. We were both really into it. And then she just put 
on the brakes, suddenly."
    
    Ami gave her a gentle look. "Then maybe you are moving too fast 
for her?"
    
    "Maybe," Makoto supposed, "I mean I know she wants to take it 
slowly, but all the signals she's giving out are fine. If she didn't 
want to make out she could say so and that'd be okay, but she doesn't 
say so. She didn't tell me to back off when I kissed her, and she was 
getting into it too. It wasn't like I was suddenly going to strip her 
naked and ravish her or anything."
    
    "And it hurt," she finished. "I don't know what she wants from 
me, and I can't trust the signals I'm getting from her."
    
    "Mako-chan, I know this may sound cruel, and I don't mean to be," 
Ami said carefully, "but has she said that she loves you? Not just 
replying when you told her the same?"
    
    To her shame Makoto actually had to think about that. She 
couldn't remember. It wasn't something she had actually kept track 
of. But... "I think so. I'm sure she has." Then that one night came 
back to her. The night that had rocked her world. "In Seiji. Just 
before we came home, she..."
    
    She blushed. "She did something that she said proved to herself 
that she loved me. I didn't say anything that time. I was too 
amazed."
    
    Ami blushed hard as her mind made up for the missing images in 
Makoto's story. "So you have made love with her then."
    
    Makoto flushed to match her. "No! I mean, I want to, but we 
haven't... It was just special."
    
    Ami sighed, almost in disappointment, and nodded. "Then I think 
you're doing well, even if you don't think so. Rei wouldn't say that 
to you unless she meant it. I'm positive of that."
    
    "So why all the mixed signals?"
    
    Ami shook her head. "I don't know. That's something she will have 
to tell you for herself."
    
    Makoto nodded in resignation. "Yeah, I guess. What about you? Are 
you holding up okay? I mean, with Haruka-san and everything, you have 
a lot at stake now."
    
    Ami didn't reply directly to that. "That's what my mother said."
    
    "So she's okay with this?"
    
    "No, but she says that she'll try and support me, whatever I 
decide. If she can."
    
    Makoto gave her a small smile. "That's good, right? And I'll 
support you too, you know."
    
    Ami sighed and gave another shake of her head. "I would rather 
not have the support."
    
    "What?" asked Makoto, confused. "Why?"
    
    "I..." Ami said hesitantly, "Because I think I know what I want 
now. If Haruka is really pregnant, I want to be with her. I want to 
take responsibility, even if it's not our fault, because then we can 
be together. But where does that leave everyone else? I like Michiru-
san and Hotaru-chan, but I still want Haruka for myself."
    
    Makoto didn't have a comforting reply for that. "Ami-chan, 
someone's going to get hurt, even if it's just you. And I bet that 
would hurt Haruka-san too. So, whatever you decide, I will support 
you. Even if you want to be the one that gets hurt."
    
    Ami felt her eyes getting moist again at Makoto's unflinching 
show of companionship. "Thank you, Mako-chan. But I don't think I can 
choose. Not without knowing what Haruka wants."

***
    
    "You know, I was wondering where you had run off to."
    
    Luna sat down behind her white furred compatriot and partner, 
watching him as he stared into the night sky. "We have a lot to do."
    
    Artemis nodded, but felt strangely unmoved by her stoic voice. 
"Don't you think you were a little too hard on them Luna? And then 
running off like that?" He turned around and looked her in the eyes. 
"For once I really don't know what you were thinking."
    
    Luna remained unrepentant, but her voice did soften at Artemis' 
chastisement. He was rarely confrontational with her, and this was 
about as cross as he ever sounded. "We have to put up a strong front 
Artemis. Believe me, it is not as though I enjoyed doing it."
    
    "We always agreed that the girls should have as much freedom as 
they can," Artemis countered, no longer with that edge in his voice, 
but with a sad resignation. "Even Setsuna-san does, in her own 
strange ways."
    
    "I still believe that, Artemis." Luna said, padding up next to 
him on the roof. "But we have so much to do, our girls included. They 
have too much on their minds right now to see the big picture. I know 
you can see that."
    
    Artemis nodded reluctantly. "And what can we do about it? The 
'Haruka situation' is out of our hands, and you've made sure that 
Mako-chan isn't going to listen to us without wanting to be 
rebellious."
    
    Luna shook her head. "I will apologise to them when we are all 
safe again. Right then, forcing the matter was all I could think of. 
It will at least focus their minds on one problem at a time. I want 
them to be happy, but we need them fit to fight, and at the moment 
only Usagi-chan, Mamoru-kun, Minako-chan and Setsuna-san seem capable 
of that. And you know how sympathetic Usagi-chan can be to our 
enemies, which won't help given who we are up against."
    
    Artemis nodded again. "The Dark Kingdom."
    
    "If we can get our girls to sort out their private lives soon, 
then it will be for the best."
    
    "Even if it robs them of the chance to make the right choices?"
    
    Luna gave him a rather lost looking smile. "Can any choice they 
make be considered 'right' or 'wrong'? A girl's heart is not quite so 
simple. Especially when the lines of friendship and love become 
blurred."
    
    Artemis returned that smile, but with a confidence that gave Luna 
a little more strength. "Don't I know it!" he said, nuzzling against 
her cheek.
    
    Luna blushed slightly beneath her black fur. "Stop it. Anyway, we 
need to fill in for our soldiers right now. Right?"
    
    "I'm already working on my part," he replied. "Just let me know 
what you're up to, instead of just running off next time. We're 
fighting three different battles on three different fronts. I was 
worried."
    
    Luna acceded to that. "I didn't think of it that way, but I 
suppose love makes for quite a battlefield at times. Especially right 
now. That's why I would rather they didn't get involved with each 
other this way. At least the scars caused by our enemies are only 
skin deep."
    
    "Exactly," Artemis said, "so be careful. I'd rather not have you 
end up caught in the emotional crossfire again. Even if it was your 
own fault last time."
    
    Luna just looked out into the sky, as Artemis had been doing when 
she found him. "I can live with being distrusted. Just as long as 
they come out of this together."
    
    Artemis shook his head, and followed Luna's gaze. "Yeesh. Give me 
a youma to stare down any day."
    
    "Don't tempt providence," Luna sighed. "We still have to find 
them too you know."
    
***
    
    At that same time, lit only by the Tokyo streetlights, a delivery 
girl with no surname arrived back at her company's warehouse. She 
doubted there was much call for ketchup deliveries at midnight, but 
then she also doubted that anyone actually cared. At least she was 
good at this job. The name tag on her red and white striped uniform 
said Miyama, but once she had unloaded her scooter and stepped inside 
that little plastic pin lost its purpose.
    
    Myoshiya didn't need her disguise now, and let her arms unfold 
from somewhere beneath her shirt. "I'm home," she called out into the 
darkened warehouse, though it was something of a misnomer. 
    
    A flash of bright green sparks showered out from the darkness. 
"Welcome back," came the soft, slightly nasal reply of her most 
technically minded sister.
    
    "Shivis, do you always have to work with the lights off?"
    
    "Yes." Another shower of green sparks erupted out over Shivis' 
vast, shadowed device. "It keeps my mind functioning at one hundred 
percent."
    
    "Well I can't see in the dark," Myoshiya replied, flicking on the 
switch by the door. "I have presents though." She looked up at the 
device. "It's... bigger again."
    
    "Of course," Shivis replied as she crawled out from a hatch in 
the vast shell of the contraption. "Did you think our trump card 
would simply sit in my pocket? You said that we lack the power to 
take this city from its defenders. This," she gestured with one 
feather-lined arm, "will give us more power than you can imagine."
    
    She gave Myoshiya a piercing smile. "My gate device was not 
strong enough, but this time I will give us the planet!"
    
    Myoshiya was impressed that such a quietly spoken woman could 
sound so confident. "It still looks like a spiky turtle shell 
though."
    
    Shivis' smile faded, to be replaced with a twitch and a very long 
suffering look. "Don't start, sister dear. I get enough of that from 
Tyranya."
    
    Then, from the catwalk above their heads, the aforementioned 
devil replied. "You are brilliant Shivis, but you simply have no 
taste!"
    
    Shivis didn't even bother to look up. "Thank you, captain. You 
really know how to make a girl feel appreciated."
    
    Tyranya laughed, jumping over the rail to join them. "Don't pout 
sister, it doesn't suit you. Now, I hear we have progress?"
    
    "Yes captain," Myoshiya replied. She presented Tyranya with her 
wire rack of ketchup bottles. "Maxill is doing well, despite her 
loss."
    
    Tyranya took one of the squeeze bottles and unscrewed the top. 
Inside was the progress she was looking for. She up-ended the bottle 
and out slipped the crystal, a roughly hexagonal oblong, slightly 
pointed at each end. It glowed faintly, giving off a yellow-green 
iridescence. No matter how many of them Tyranya saw, they still 
seemed beautiful to her.
    
    She handed the crystal to Shivis. "Another for your work." Then 
she turned back to Myoshiya. "So how is Maxill faring now? I trust 
sending Aretsuki to aid her is helping?"
    
    "Somewhat," Myoshiya replied. "I think that the company is doing 
her a great deal of good, but to lose a twin... She will not recover 
so easily. She does not let out her anger."
    
    "At this stage that is a benefit," Tyranya thought aloud. "Though 
I suppose we must relieve her in time, so that she can grieve."
    
    Myoshiya nodded. "But she is working well, and drawing a great 
deal of energy. Enough to keep some in reserve for herself and 
Aretsuki, and still send this much to you." She hefted the wire rack 
again, and the seven other bottles that sat in it.
    
    "And Kaizi?"
    
    Myoshiya sighed. "She puts me to shame. Her plan, even if it is 
so simple, has become huge. Perhaps not as vastly productive as 
Maxill's, but she will never be found. It scares me how well she can 
slip into the role of a human, and make that human so successful even 
by their standards. I will collect her delivery tomorrow."
    
    "Good work Myoshiya. We should have let you fill this role from 
the start. You make for an excellent courier. You even learned to 
pilot that human contraption."
    
    The many limbed woman blushed and lowered her head at the praise. 
"Thank you captain. I am only sorry that my first enterprise was such 
a disaster."
    
    "Not as much of one as you think, sister," Tyranya replied, 
sounding pleased. "We have information on our only enemies now. We 
know that we cannot best them in battle without help, especially 
since they have multiplied. If five was enough to destroy our world, 
how can we six hope to defeat ten of them? That is valuable 
knowledge."
    
    "And you say that they were conflicted during your escape. That 
they have problems among themselves is another boon, which we must 
exploit. Perhaps they have not found us because we have not seemed to 
be too great a threat, and they have bigger problems of their own to 
deal with."
    
    She smiled widely, showing off her slender fangs. "With luck, 
even if we cannot gather much information on them, their ignorance 
and disinterest in us will be enough. When our machine is finished, 
and we have enough sustenance for it to start up, nothing these 
murderous girls do will be enough to slay even one more of us!"
    
    "Don't forget, sister," Shivis added, "we need sustenance too." 
She gave the crystal back to her captain. "We are doing well, after 
all. We can afford not to be so frugal."
    
    Tyranya looked at their reticent genius before nodding. Then she 
brought the crystal to her thin, painted lips, and drank.
    
***

To Be Continued...

***

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Many thanks to Richard King for his proofreading assistance.

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