Shooting for the Moon: Chapter 3

     Disclaimer: I do not claim ownership of Sailor Moon or anything 
that comprises it. This is a non-profit story written solely for my 
own enjoyment and that of anyone who wishes to read it. The story and 
original characters are mine. Please don't use them without 
permission.

***

                        Shooting for the Moon

              - A Sailor Moon Fan-Fiction by Nutzoide -


    Chapter 3: The Power of Love...
               Compound Fractures of the Heart.
    
    
    Mamoru took another glance at his fiancee as she dutifully busied 
herself in the sink. She took her 'duties' so seriously, despite the 
fact that he had told her, on many occasions, that she didn't need to 
worry about being traditional in such a way. When she had first moved 
in with him it had annoyed him no end - she had not been the most 
able around the house - but she had honestly tried her best. 
Gradually, as the year had worn on, her practice and tutelage under 
both Michiru and her mother had started to pay off. She was now more 
than capable in the kitchen most of the time, and he no longer felt 
the urge to assist - at least, not to avert any inevitable disasters.
    
    Now he felt that he wasn't doing enough though. Granted, he was 
earning their money, but Usagi had her studies to do as well, and she 
did put herself out to make sure she was playing the role of the 
'dutiful wife' to the best of her ability. Mamoru was a modern man 
after all, and he did actually enjoy cooking for the two of them, so 
he had almost needed to fight to be able to do so every few days. He 
was flattered that she was so eager, and he hoped she realised how 
much he appreciated it, even if it didn't seem quite so necessary to 
him. 
    
    But, that evening, Usagi hadn't put up as much of a fight when he 
had insisted that he cook for them. He hadn't thought much of it at 
first, he had been too tired after his commute to the research 
institute, but as she had eaten, and indeed as she now washed the 
dishes, she did not seem to have her usual bounce to her.
    
    "Usako," he said, wrapping his arms around her as she slowly 
wiped the plates.
    
    Usagi closed her eyes and smiled, leaning back into his chest. 
She let the plate slip from her fingers and back into the soapy 
water. "Mamoru..."
    
    Mamoru smiled and kissed the crown of her hair, neatly between 
her dumpling-tails. "Anything on your mind?"
    
    Usagi 'hmm'ed, and picked the plate back up, allowing Mamoru to 
support her. "Maybe just a few things," she admitted. "I'm glad the 
exams are over, but I don't think I did very well."
    
    Mamoru chuckled a little. "That's not what I heard from Rei-chan. 
She said you all seemed to have done pretty well, considering."
    
    "I hope so," Usagi agreed, "but we won't know for a while."
    
    "And?" Mamoru prodded. "I know the exam-anxious you Usako, and 
that's not it"
    
    "Ohhh, you do?" Usagi lilted, wiggling in his arms. Then she 
sighed. "I guess. You remember those youma?"
    
    Mamoru nodded in realisation. "Ah, I see."
    
    "I was just thinking," Usagi went on. "What really happened to 
the Dark Kingdom? I don't even remember what I did. I just know that 
I wanted them to be gone, and I wanted everything back the way it 
was. And it happened. We all forgot each other, forgot abut being the 
Sailor Senshi, everything. So what did I do to them? Are they here 
for revenge? Are Queen Beryl and Metallia back, like nothing 
happened?"
    
    "I don't think so," Mamoru said, stroking at Usagi's stomach to 
comfort her. "That youma said that we killed her Queen, and her 
Goddess. I don't think that Beryl or Metallia will be coming back."
    
    Usagi nodded. "I was kind of hoping they were alive, just not 
hurting anyone anymore. Maybe the Silver Crystal could have helped 
them like that."
    
    "Who can say?" Mamoru replied. Maybe a little pragmatism might 
help as well. "I think it is probably better this way though. They 
can't hurt anyone, not even their own people."
    
    Usagi didn't like it, but it was true. "So what about that new 
youma? I was hoping we could catch her, but it's been two weeks. She 
could have done a lot already. I don't like to think what she might 
be preparing for Tokyo. And there were two of them. What if there are 
more?"
    
    "Then there are more," Mamoru answered. "We can only do so much 
Usako. When the time comes, we just have to be ready."
    
    Usagi nodded, and placed the last of the plates on the draining 
board. Then, with a gentle smile on her face, she turned around and 
buried her head against Mamoru's chest, her wet hands making his 
shirt damp as she held him. "Mamo-chan," she said quietly, "I am 
trustworthy, aren't I?"
    
    That had come from nowhere, but Mamoru could see why. The other 
girls had all had their strange little moments recently. If he had 
noticed, then surely Usagi was finding herself lost in the thick of 
it. "I trust you with my life. You've saved it often enough!" he 
joked, before becoming more serious. "The others do too. All of them. 
I'm sure it has all just been a lot to take in for them. Being 
banished by that harpy witch, fighting through in that feudal world, 
and now the exams and the news people." 
    
    He broke their embrace and smiled down into Usagi's grateful 
eyes. "Now that the holidays are here I'm sure they can settle in 
properly."
    
    Usagi nodded, feeling much better than she had. It was times like 
that which left her yearning for more than just an engagement ring on 
her finger.
    
    "Mamoru," she said with a contented hope in her voice, laying a 
light kiss on his lips, "maybe we could go to bed early tonight?"

***
    
    Haruka slipped her key into the lock as carefully as she could, 
and turned it with barely a click. A ghost of a smile lingered on her 
lips as she slipped into the house. She took great care not to 
disturb her family, but her happy fuzz let the door close a little 
more loudly than she had hoped. Still, there was no harm done. 
    
    And maybe she had averted some as well. It had been so nice to 
see Ami laugh again. Two weeks ago, calling in the middle of the 
night, she had become an absolute wreck when Haruka had finally met 
with her in the lamp-lit park. How it had happened Haruka did not 
know, but Ami had needed someone to be there for her, and she had 
chosen Haruka. It had felt so good, to be trusted like that, even if 
she knew that she had not been Ami's first choice. But still, she had 
done what she could. She had listened, she had learned, and had 
comforted and commiserated, and slowly Ami had come out of the shell 
that Haruka had not even known the girl had built. So yes, no harm at 
all.
    
    No harm apart from Michiru as she stood in the hallway. Suddenly 
Haruka felt guilty for it. Worse, Michiru had a darkly blank look on 
her face, and she held a pair of scissors tightly in her right hand. 
"Another late night rendezvous, Haruka?" Michiru asked. Normally she 
would have sounded amused and teasing, but this once there was little 
humour in her voice.
    
    Haruka tried to flash her a disarming smile, but that trace of 
guilt caused it to falter slightly. Maybe she should have told 
Michiru about it, even if it was harmless. "Michiru, honestly..."
    
    "You didn't just go for a drive, Haruka," Michiru said, matter-
of-fact as she stalked towards her lover. "I can check the milometer, 
and it won't nearly have gone far enough, will it?"
    
    Haruka didn't even answer that. Michiru just closed the gap 
between them, scissors in hand. "This is the sixth time in a 
fortnight."
    
    Haruka almost found herself backing to the door as Michiru 
reached her, Michiru slipping one hand around her waist while the 
scissors in the other stroked at the bangs that fell across Haruka's 
right temple. "I just want the truth. Please." She smiled up at her 
lover, and tapped her on the head with the closed instrument. "What 
am I supposed to think? Come on, I said I would cut that hair of 
yours."
    
    Haruka finally let out the breath she had been holding, a 
relieved grin forcing its way onto her lips. What had she been 
thinking there? Mind you, Michiru had cut a surprisingly menacing 
figure just then. "Whew. I'd forgotten about that," she said, as she 
was lead to the bathroom.
    
    It was a minor hobby of Michiru's, keeping Haruka's hair in trim. 
When she had returned Michiru had been surprised to find that Haruka 
had let it grow out so much. The fact that Minako and Ami had also 
come back with new hairstyles might have been the only reason, 
because Haruka had complained about it constantly now that she was 
home. Michiru had tried to convince her to keep it long, and maybe 
even let it grow out properly, but Haruka had stood fast. It looked 
surprisingly good, but it did take the edge off Haruka's boyish 
appearance, and as usual that was enough for Haruka to want it gone. 
Haruka did not have a good body image at the best of times, so 
Michiru had relented, but she did at least take a few photos to 
remember it by. 
    
    And now Haruka had forgotten about it?
    
    "So..." Michiru asked as she sat Haruka down, "will you tell me?"
    
    Haruka felt the comb going through her overly long hair, and the 
slicing of the scissors as Michiru started her amateur work. "It was 
Ami-chan that called. She's... been having a very hard time."
    
    Michiru hadn't know what to expect, but that had not been it. 
"Her mother?"
    
    "Partly," Haruka admitted. "It's lots of things. Having to keep 
secrets, having to remember things, trying to forget things. She just 
needed a friend."
    
    Exactly what some of those secrets had been Haruka didn't try to 
think about. She found herself trying to fight back a glow of 
gratitude at the words Ami had used. Words that Haruka couldn't let 
herself return.
    
    "She couldn't confide in the others?" Michiru asked, not out of 
any resentment, but out of simple confusion. What could she have 
wanted to talk about that she couldn't say to Usagi or Makoto?
    
    Haruka shook her head, making Michiru hold her steady before she 
continued cutting. "They... seem to have their own problems," Haruka 
said. "Or she doesn't want to worry them. You know about Rei-chan and 
Mako-chan. Don't you?"
    
    Michiru smiled at that. "Usagi-chan told me." With her universal 
appeal Haruka might not have needed the ability, but Michiru had been 
sure that there had always been a little bisexual curiosity in Rei. 
    
    "That's why Ami-chan says she can't tell them. They are happy, 
and Makoto is helping Rei-chan with her own problems," Haruka 
explained. She knew that Michiru still remembered the incident with 
the escaping youma.
    
    "Is it really that bad?" Michiru asked. Rei's actions had worried 
her greatly, both for the sake of their mission and for their safety. 
"Turn your head."
    
    "I think so," Haruka said, doing as she was told. "I just 
promised I wouldn't say what happened to them. It's hard enough on 
them as it is."
    
    Michiru nodded as she finished trimming Haruka's fringe. "Poor 
Ami-chan. There," she handed Haruka a hand mirror, "what do you 
think?"
    
    Haruka smiled as she looked into the mirrors. Her hair was back 
in its proper place, cut short into her neck and no longer getting 
into her eyes or tickling her cheeks. That was more like the Haruka 
she wanted to be. "Better."
    
    "You know, I'm glad you were there to help her," Michiru said, 
turning Haruka around to look at her. "Next time, just tell me." She 
smiled, her voice softening. "I am trustworthy, aren't I?"
    
    Unbeknownst to both of them, those words that Usagi had spoken 
only a few hours before were filled with that girl's same honest, 
innocent hope. An innocent hope that Michiru thought sounded very 
unlike her.
    
    And one which cut Haruka to the bone. The boyish blonde just 
stood there, staring at her lover as tears began to well up in her 
eyes. She didn't know what she was doing. Suddenly her emotions were 
no longer hers to control. What had she done...
    
    Michiru didn't even have time to voice her sudden concern. In a 
fraction of a second Haruka took her in her arms, and locked them 
together in a deep, soulful embrace. Haruka's deep and grieving kiss 
took Michiru's breath away as Haruka, from nowhere, drowned her with 
every drop of passion she could muster. 
    
    Even before they could stagger from the room Haruka was burying 
her guilt in Michiru's body, her hands roaming beneath her lover's 
clothes and across her skin as she desperately tried to show the 
depths of the love she felt for her, and atone for what she had done. 
Michiru could only be swept along. Where had this Haruka come from? 
Here was the strength and the forceful desire that had been missing 
from her lover's touch, now suddenly pouring from her in one tearful 
burst. Michiru simply melted into that strength, and yet inside her 
head she cried as deeply as her wounded partner did. Because, even in 
the heat of that sudden, tumultuous sex, she could feel how deep 
those wounds were.
    
    'My God Haruka, what happened to you?'

***
    
    Makoto gave a glance towards her boss. The old man was chatting 
with their clientele again, filling in the dead time. It was typical 
she supposed. He slaved on without her for two months, and now he had 
so little to do that he was calling it his vacation time! Still, 
Makoto did think that he deserved a holiday, even if all he did was 
sit behind the counter and talk to their regular customers. 
    
    Matsubashi was a second generation noodle chef, and probably 
enjoyed his own cooking a little too much if his heavy build was any 
indication. He was also a consummate drinker, and even as he entered 
his sixth decade neither his nephews nor Makoto met with any luck in 
getting him to moderate that vice. As far as he was concerned it was 
no less healthy than anything else, though his doctor would have 
disagreed if he ever actually went to see him.
    
    However, Matsubashi was not the jovial type that his habits might 
have suggested. Instead he had a mature, quiet confidence that a 
person could not help but respect, even if it came from a lowly 
noodle shop owner. He made simple, observant conversation, and his 
customers went away feeling that, at least for that one meal, their 
corner of the world made that little bit more sense.
    
    Makoto thought that he might have made a better priest than 
Grandpa Hino at times, not that she would have told Rei that. 
    
    And once again she was thinking about Rei. That was happening so 
much nowadays. She had to wonder what the beautiful shrine maiden was 
doing. With their exams over everyone except Minako and herself would 
have nothing but free time until the next semester started, though 
Rei would still be helping out at the shrine. Plus the media fuss 
over them had died back now, which relieved Makoto no end. She had 
been tired of hiding at the back of the small shop with her pans to 
avoid the reporters. Granted, it had been good for business, but it 
had really put her on edge.
    
    So, she thought guiltily, it was probably about time that she 
made good on her promise. She owed Rei a date. The thought made her 
flush, and she had to turn her mind back to her pan to make sure she 
didn't spill the stir-fried vegetables. She idly dashed in a little 
more sauce, just for the tang. This customer liked his food tasty.
    
    Rei. Makoto couldn't help it. The idea of a real, classical date 
with her put that veil of romantic stupor over Makoto's eyes. A 
sweetly saccharine film, a fancy dinner in an expensive restaurant 
somewhere, a strawberry kiss goodnight. Or perhaps even more.
    
    No, Makoto knew she was pushing her luck there. Rei was so cute 
and so... girlish, for lack of a better word, but as close and 
affectionate as she was it was clear that she still had limits. It 
was a little disappointing, Makoto could admit that. For one night in 
Seiji Rei had laid with her, bosom to bosom beneath the same blanket. 
Even if they had just slept and done nothing more, Makoto's world had 
been rocked. 
    
    Rei had proved she was willing then, but she had also admitted 
that she wasn't ready for anything further yet. Fooling around with 
another girl in a drunken college stupor and actually making love to 
another woman were two very different things.
    
    On Makoto's part she knew without a shadow of a doubt. She wished 
that she still had her virginity, if only so that she could have 
given it to Rei. The few relationships in the past that had 
progressed that far were the ones that Makoto most wanted to forget. 
The ones where she made such a fool of herself, and became so 
attached, only to lose it soon after they had supposedly proved their 
worth to each other.
    
    Maybe Makoto was still naive, despite her many failures, but she 
did want to be with Rei, physically. She was only reserved with her 
affections because she didn't want this one to go wrong. She didn't 
want to chase Rei away. Makoto had never been intimate with another 
girl before, and she didn't want to make any mistakes. 
    
    Likewise, she didn't want Rei to be persecuted for her sake. 
Makoto had no illusions about that. There were already many people 
who would look at the pair of them as though they had contracted some 
sort of dread social disease just because they walked hand in hand 
down the road. As far as those people seemed to be concerned the idea 
of two women passing as a couple was best left to loose, experimental 
schoolgirls and only otherwise there to fulfil the fantasies of 
unscrupulous men. How Haruka and Michiru coped with that, leading 
such relatively high profile lives, Makoto could only guess at. It 
made her feel bad as it was, and even worse because it was directed 
at Rei as well.
    
    Rei put up a good front though. She was resilient beyond compare, 
as if it never once phased her. Makoto found herself admiring that. 
Rei's flippant cockiness in the face of adversity just seemed cute, 
and beneath it lay a great deal of willpower. Even against an honest 
to goodness demon, Rei had not broken. She had fought, in the face of 
great pain, grief and doubt, and she had won. Makoto was proud to 
have been there to see her girlfriend through that trial, and in 
doing so find out a little about who Rei really was. A person, it 
turned out, that Makoto had come to cherish deeply.
    
    "Hello cutie, how about an early lunch for a beautiful girl?"
    
    Makoto almost dropped her pan as she was dishing out the food. 
"Rei?" 
    
    "Heh heh, who were you expecting?" Rei replied, sitting on the 
stool behind her, her chin resting on her hands and watching Makoto 
work with a quiet air of contentment.
    
    Beside her Usagi giggled at the pair. "That was naughty Rei-chan. 
Mmmm, that smells delicious though. I'll have one of those!"
    
    Makoto nodded, smiling from ear to ear. "Coming right up."
    
    "I thought you said you were having trouble," Usagi said as 
Makoto served the gentleman a few seats down from her. "You seem to 
be busy enough. It's not even lunch-rush time yet.
    
    "True," Makoto admitted, "but you two will be carrying us through 
until then." She motioned to the mobile food stand just opposite 
them, sitting at the corner of the road that led away into central 
Tokyo. It had several people lined up for food already. "That wench 
over there," she said with a moderated distaste, "seems intent on 
stealing all the casual customers."
    
    "And with American food to boot," Matsubashi said from down the 
counter, with the same disgruntled note. He sighed, "As if we need 
more hot dogs and burgers around here..."
    
    Rei smiled as the two regulars made their noises of agreement, "I 
guess you find out who your real patrons are."
    
    Usagi just shrugged. "I don't know, I like burgers. Not that I'd 
ever choose them over Mako-chan's food, unless she was the one making 
them."
    
    Makoto chuckled as she threw some more vegetables into her pan 
for her friends. "Thanks Usagi-chan."

***
    
    Michiru stared up at the ceiling above her bed. Their bed. That 
last night had been amazing, but she wanted to scream. She couldn't 
wait for the answers any more, certainly not after what she had just 
seen and experienced, but still she lay there, listening to the feet 
that paced in the living room or the muffled sobs as her girlfriend 
sat down on one of the settees again. Michiru wanted to go, but she 
was afraid. Terrified even. This was no longer a simple shadow of 
Haruka's time away. It had travelled with her, lying dormant in 
Haruka's mind until it could no longer be contained. Michiru dared 
not ask, because whatever it was, she knew now that it would hurt 
them both.
    
    But Haruka was already hurting. It was almost mechanical as 
Michiru swung her legs out from beneath the covers, and staggered to 
her feet. Even this late into the morning, the exertions of the night 
before glowed throughout her body. That only made it more difficult 
as she pulled on a robe. 
    
    She padded out quietly, one hand tracing the wall beside her. It 
was only a psychological support, but that touch of paper and paint 
beneath her fingers was the proof she needed that she was still 
moving, and not simply looking on. Haruka sat on the settee with her 
back to the hallway. She sat hunched, her mouth hidden in her hands 
and her elbows resting unsteadily on her knees. Michiru barely 
recognised her. Her Haruka had become so confident and self-
possessed. Where was all that now? 
    
    "Haruka?"
    
    Haruka almost fell off the chair, and instead used that stumble 
to push herself to her feet. "M-Michiru..." As soon as their eyes met 
Haruka's tears began to roll down her cheeks again. Michiru didn't 
even get a chance to speak as Haruka grabbed her, enveloping the 
fearful artist in her long arms.
    
    "I love you Michiru. I love you so much. You know that. I... Tell 
me you know that."
    
    Michiru shivered in Haruka's arms. Yes, that was terror, she 
realised. Haruka said it so rarely, and with such deep sincerity, 
that when she did it meant so very much. "I know, Haruka. Of course I 
know.  Just please, tell me what it is." She took Haruka's head in 
her hands, guiding it to her shoulder. Haruka was taller than her, 
but she just melted into Michiru's touch.
    
    "I'm sorry," Haruka sobbed. "I was all my fault. I couldn't take 
it every night, missing you. I couldn't... I wasn't faithful to you."
    
    Michiru's fingers froze. "W-what?" Haruka couldn't have said 
that. How? It was a logical impossibility. Michiru hadn't had any 
idea what might have been torturing her lover, but that thought 
hadn't even entered into her mind. They had each other. That was the 
way it was. No past girlfriends had ever even approached what she had 
found in Haruka. And for Haruka there had only ever been Michiru.
    
    Until now? 'Oh God...'
    
    Haruka was holding her tightly, but Michiru forced them apart. 
She held her lover's arms and looked deeply into those sorrowful 
eyes. "That... That doesn't..."
    
    It didn't make any sense.
    
    "I was all alone there," Haruka said. For some inexplicable 
reason a small smile blossomed on her lips as she finally admitted 
it. "I missed you every night. Every day. Then I found the warlocks, 
and suddenly I didn't have any secrets left. They knew me. They saw 
into me. They saw everything I only ever told you, even if they 
didn't know what it meant. And the power they gave me, it just made 
me sick, because I was foolish. I've always been so stupid, and I 
never knew. I had to protect them, and I felt so powerless."
    
    Michiru heard her, but it wasn't what she wanted to know. 
Actually, she didn't want to know, but it was the only thing that 
seemed important inside her numb mind. "... Who was it?"
    
    Haruka felt herself swallowing hard. "She... As soon as we got 
back together, she was trying to help me. I don't think she knew it, 
but she was. Those little 'thank you's, and smiles - and she tried to 
make me feel welcome, even after everything we had done to them."
    
    Michiru could understand that sentiment. Usagi had done the same 
for her in forgiving her for their wasted and heartless efforts 
against Galaxia. But, "I waited... I thought you were dead, but I 
couldn't give up. I couldn't leave you, even then. I would rather 
have been alone..."
    
    Those words hurt for Haruka. "I knew you were alive," she said. 
"You had to be. You were all that kept me going for so long."
    
    "But I wasn't enough." It wasn't a question, or even an 
accusation. It was just a fact.
    
    "I wanted her," Haruka finally said. "After everything, I didn't 
know how much more I could take. I found myself wanting her so badly, 
but I knew it was impossible. Then she came to me. Ami-chan did."
    
    The pair of them stood rigid in the wake of that name. Michiru 
could barely believe it, but the look in Haruka's eyes proved it. She 
felt a slow squeezing in her chest. Michiru had always got on well 
with Ami. During all the awkwardness after Galaxia they had been 
among the first to start bridging the gap towards friendship. How 
could that nice girl have seduced Haruka away from her? How could 
Haruka have seduced quiet and considerate Ami? Why hadn't Michiru 
been enough?
    
    She felt a stinging in her hand, and she opened her eyes to see 
Haruka's reddened cheek. It hadn't brought her any catharsis though, 
as Haruka stood with her eyes closed and her head bowed in remorse.
    
    Michiru slapped her again. And again, and again. With each hit 
she hoped that somehow it would reset the world, and turn this 
painful knowledge into nothing more than a dream. But Haruka still 
stood there, looking so apologetic. Why couldn't she look smug, or 
callous or angry, or anything that would justify the hurt in 
Michiru's breast. 
    
    "I-It was just the one time," Haruka continued, expecting another 
hit at any time as she admitted the worst of it. "She... she didn't 
want to take me away from you, and I would never go. But it all got 
messed up..."
    
    "So you went back to her," Michiru cut in, remembering what 
Haruka had said the night before. "You've been going out to see her, 
even while you're with me."
    
    The look of betrayal on Michiru's face was more than Haruka could 
bear. "No! That's not it. I... I wouldn't do that. You know I 
wouldn't!"
    
    Michiru just looked at her, her eyes burning but too exhausted to 
scream. "I thought I knew."
    
    "I was telling the truth Michiru! She needs someone to help her. 
She had to remember all the painful things that she's lived through, 
and it's so hard for her to put them all back now. And somehow, she 
couldn't put her feeling back either. We both needed it then, but she 
doesn't have anyone to come back to."
    
    Michiru knew what Haruka meant by that. Ami loved her. "Lots of 
girls fall for you. Boys too, not that you try with them."
    
    But Haruka shook her head. "Not her. She means it."
    
    "And what about you?"
    
    Haruka looked at her in disbelief. "She... she knows it won't 
change anything. She knew that when we..." Haruka left that sentence 
unfinished, but Michiru just stared back dispassionately.
    
    "What about *you*, Haruka?"
    
    Haruka couldn't help her tears. It seemed to take an age for her 
to find the courage to answer. "She means a lot to me."
    
    Michiru just let her head fall forward onto Haruka's breast as 
her dam burst the tears flowed out in torrent down her cheeks. "Damn 
you!"
    
    Haruka wanted to hold her so badly, but she was afraid to even 
move. "It... it doesn't..."
    
    "Don't say it!" Michiru cried. "Just go! Get out! I can't... I 
can't cope with this!"
    
    When Haruka stepped back Michiru wanted to grab hold of her, and 
wanted her to say it was all alright. But even that would just have 
made her angrier. She didn't want to hear it. She didn't want to hear 
anything. 
    
    It seemed like no time at all before the front door clicked shut, 
and Michiru's head jerked up to see Haruka's silhouette walking 
slowly to the garage. "I didn't even get a chance to fight for you," 
she whispered.
    
    Then, from behind her, a small, quivering voice broke the quiet. 
"Mama?"
    
    Hotaru stood there in her adorable red and white dress, confusion 
written across her face. Who knew how much she had heard, or what she 
thought it meant? She was such a sensitive teenager, and yet it was 
her who took Michiru in her arms and sat her down, the pair of them 
crying as they held each other. Hotaru didn't even know why she was 
crying so hard. She had seen her parents fight before, but this had 
been different. She wanted her surrogate father there with them, if 
only to be a full family in their tears.
    
    It just wasn't fair.

***
    
    Ami cleaned up her dishes with a small smile tugging at the edges 
of her lips. The last week had been good. Putting her head back 
together was hard, and in particular the memories of her parents' 
divorce still haunted her. Her stupid father, just leaving them out 
of the blue one day; at least that was how it had seemed to her as a 
child. That had been a useful memory, back when anger and pain had 
been the fuel that kept her safe, but little by little the old hurts 
were being filed away where they belonged. She knew she would never 
truly be rid of those memories, but why would she want to be? They 
had made her who she was, and once again she could honestly say that 
she liked that person that she saw in the mirror. Mostly.
    
    It had taken time, but she had told Haruka everything. She 
doubted that she had ever felt more embarrassed or guilty in her 
life, pouring out all her troubles onto the young woman who was, when 
it came down to it, the source of some of them. That had been hard. 
Telling Haruka that, despite her best efforts, Ami had in fact fallen 
in love with her, and knowing full well that there was nothing Haruka 
could do about it. But that didn't matter. Ami just needed to say it. 
The fact that it was to Haruka herself actually made it easier now. 
She had felt horrible about it, as thought she was guilt tripping the 
young woman she cared for, but now that it was out they could just 
get on with talking. 
    
    They had talked about everything. From the ghosts of Ami's 
childhood to the latest fashions in art and music - it didn't matter 
what it was, as long as Ami could let her thoughts tumble out freely. 
She had even ended up giggling like a schoolgirl again, just talking 
about their time in Seiji. How she could laugh at it now she did not 
know, but somehow, in hindsight, some of those stories had seemed 
funny.
    
    A knock roused Ami from her thoughts, and she realised that she 
had been standing just watching her dinner things drain. She put her 
comfortable musings aside and let her rational mind take control, 
where it belonged. Idly she wondered whether it was Haruka at the 
door, and she shook her head. How silly that seemed.
    
    The trouble was, she had been right. Haruka looked terrible. She 
stood on the apartment walkway with her hair sitting like some kind 
of messy thatch on her head. Her eyes looked tired and red, but most 
obvious to Ami was the lack of humour on her lips. Even in her worst 
moments Haruka tried to pull a smile, and made some kind of flippant 
remark, even if she was her own target. This time, however, those 
lips lay flat.
    
    "H-Haruka-san?" Ami said, instantly worried. "What's wrong? You 
didn't drive here like that did you? Please, come in."
    
    Haruka nodded in thanks and stepped inside, then closed the door 
behind herself. Then, as Ami turned to lead Haruka inside, she felt 
the older girl's touch rough against her arm, and she was pulled into 
a kiss that tore her senses from her. What was Haruka doing? Oh, this 
was a dream, she thought, as she felt herself returning that raging 
passion. Her back hit the wall and she felt Haruka press her hands 
back up, their fingers lacing themselves together. 
    
    But Haruka had never been so forceful in her dreams. Never so 
despairing. Ami's eyes flew open, moist with the realisation of what 
was happening. She turned her head away, breaking their lips apart in 
spite of her inner selfishness. It was what she wanted, and she was 
being given it freely. But how could she ever accept it?
    
    "Haruka, please, don't do this!"
    
    And Haruka stopped. She just stood there like a statue, their 
bodies pressed together, and she let her head hit the wall, tears 
coursing down her face.
    
    "Don't let me have this," Ami repeated gently, easing her hands 
away from Haruka's touch against the paper.
    
    "She knows." Haruka's voice sounded so empty.
    
    Ami swallowed hard as she heard that. "What happened?"
    
    Haruka just sighed, her eyes clamped shut. "She looked so... I 
never wanted to do that to her. I had to tell her everything. She 
deserved that much. I told her about what we did... and about what 
you told me, and that you mean something to me."
    
    Ami took Haruka's head in her hands, and guided her from the 
wall. "Thank you," she said. What else could she say? Hearing that 
she had felt her heart flutter, and even knowing that nothing could 
come of it, it had felt good. "You can go back, can't you?"
    
    Haruka just stood for a moment before she nodded. "I think so." 
She let out a dry laugh. A laugh directed at herself. "I'm going 
back, if only for Hotaru's sake. But I love her. I know she loves me. 
It's my fault, after all. I just have to hope she can forgive me."
    
    Ami nodded, taking them both to the living room and sitting down 
on the couch. "She will. It might take time, but I know how much she 
loves you too. She's very lucky."
    
    Haruka nodded, but didn't say a word. She knew it. She just hoped 
that their luck would hold out. "I'm sorry, Ami. About that."
    
    Ami shook her head. "Don't be. At least I could kiss you one more 
time. I hope we can still talk after this."
    
    "I hope so too."
    
    But they both knew that Michiru's wishes would have to come first 
there. She had a very good reason not to want them to see each other, 
and neither Ami nor Haruka could go against that. Not with a clean 
conscience. 
    
    "Well," Ami said, "just in case, I want to say thank you. For 
everything. You were there when I needed you. I needed that a lot, on 
both occasions."
    
    Haruka nodded, giving her a weak smile. "Likewise."
    
    So they talked, making the most of that evening. They talked 
about everything, once again, until tiredness overtook them, and they 
lay sleeping in their clothes, resting against each other on the 
leather couch. At least Haruka didn't have to drive home.

***
    
    "Ami-chan!" Usagi called, standing outside the girl's apartment. 
She pressed the doorbell again. It wasn't like Ami to be late, she 
thought. The rest of them, sure, but not Ami.
    
    Minako shrugged. "Maybe she's not feeling well," she ventured.
    
    Usagi looked pensive at the thought. "But she's seemed to feel 
better recently," she said. "And she would have told us if she was, 
wouldn't she?"
    
    Minako nodded. It was true. It hadn't taken the pair of them long 
to convince their long time friend to go out shopping with them. Ami 
had been feeling more like company, and even she enjoyed a little 
retail therapy every now and gain.
    
    When she did finally open the door the pair were surprised to see 
just how dishevelled she looked. Had she only just got out of bed? 
Ami smiled at them and ushered them inside, before she excused 
herself so that she could make herself look more presentable.
    
    To Usagi it was obvious that Ami was putting up a front, but 
despite her best intentions she chose not to pry. That was her policy 
now, she had to tell herself. She was concerned of course, but these 
days she tried to give her friends a little more credit when it came 
to their personal lives. No more sneaking around in disguise on their 
dates for example, no matter how much fun it was. She would get the 
gossip eventually, when they chose to share it, and she wouldn't have 
to get shouted at for butting in when she was inevitably found out.
    
    The same was true here. Ami was the most private of them all, and 
even Usagi had, in the past, said the wrong thing at the wrong time, 
not realising that she didn't have the whole story.
    
    When Ami did appear again she looked much more like herself. "I'm 
sorry, I just had a difficult night. Come on, let's go shopping!"
    
    That was what Usagi and Minako had wanted to hear. "Right!" 
Minako agreed as they left. "Let's blow some money, superstar style!"
    
    "Ahh, maybe not that much Minako-chan," Usagi said, apprehensive 
at her sudden enthusiasm. "I can't spend all of Mamo-chan's money 
this time!"
    
    That was another facet of the story that Usagi was a little hazy 
on. Both Makoto and Minako knew more than they were letting on, and 
while she could understand Makoto's more reserved nature Minako had 
never been one to keep gossip to herself. She thrived on it. The pair 
of them had been partners in crime on many a date, watching from the 
shadows or wondering about their friends until they had wrapped 
themselves up in their own intricate little fantasy world. She knew 
Minako was mature beyond her appearance, but that had never stopped 
her being free with her information.
    
    Minako had filled her in on a lot of little secrets about their 
time away. How she had wanted to give up for example. How Makoto had 
taken to wandering around with too few clothes, and how Ami had 
become a samurai of sorts. Even how she had approached Haruka.
    
    But there were a few gaps. A few little bits of story that didn't 
quite slot together, and not just because of Minako's flighty 
narratives.
    
    But she didn't let it worry her too much. The three of them were 
having too much fun, and Ami had seemed to leave her cares behind 
her, at least for the moment, as they wandered through the shopping 
districts, slowly collecting bags. Ami had been persuaded to buy a 
new, more daring swimming suit, even it was still more conservative 
that most of Minako's collection! They all had at least one new dress 
or blouse each, and Minako seemed to be slowing down under the weight 
of all her clothes as their stomachs began to rumble.
    
    "Wha..?" Usagi exclaimed as her tummy joined in the choir. "We 
missed lunch time! This is an emergency!"
    
    The cafe they found was small, but they had cake available for 
dessert, so as far as the girls were concerned it was perfect. "Don't 
blush Ami-chan," Minako ribbed as they talked over their meal. 
"You'll turn everyone's heads with that thing!" She of course meant 
the bikini that she and Usagi had almost bullied Ami into getting.
    
    "That's what I mean!" Ami defended. In truth even she had to 
admit that she liked it, but it showed off a lot more of herself than 
she was used to.
    
    On the other hand both Ami and Minako were more than eager to see 
Usagi again in her new dinner dress. That had been stunning as the 
girl had showed it off to them in the changing rooms, and given the 
price it had been the only real piece of clothing Usagi had allowed 
herself. It was a burgundy strapless one which billowed elegantly 
from the girl's hips, slightly old fashioned, but which would be 
saved for the most posh of occasions. She hadn't had the courage to 
buy something classy like that since their high school dance. With a 
few decorations pinned around the bust, and some nice jewellery to 
finish the look, it would be worn to every wedding she could get 
herself invited to!
    
    Then, out of the corner of her eyes, Usagi saw her. She got to 
her feet and waved. "Michiru-san!"
    
    Usagi was too busy calling her older friend over, but Minako 
could see the sudden stiffness in Ami as the girl got to her feet. 
Likewise, as Michiru came over Usagi's smile slipped a little as she 
saw how tense and tired Michiru seemed to be. "Michiru-san, are you 
okay?"
    
    Michiru didn't answer. Instead she didn't even stop before she 
lashed out, and slapped Ami so hard that the girl staggered back 
against her chair. 
    
    "Michiru-san!" Usagi and Minako exclaimed, but Michiru just stood 
there as somewhere off to her left she heard the click of a camera. 
She turned her gaze towards the amateur photographer, and her glare 
bore into him so hard that that man bolted, not even thinking to stay 
for the rest of the scene.
    
    Ami, however, just stood against her chair, her cheek burning and 
her eyes watering as she stared at her half-finished plate. This had 
been the last thing she had wanted. Michiru was her friend.
    
    Michiru turned back to her to see the girl genius standing in 
shock, just as her slap had left her. She felt a pang of guilt, but 
against the sudden boiling in her veins all it did was to stay her 
hand, her self restraint slowly returning to her after that vengeful 
impulse. "Why?"
    
    Ami just stood there, afraid to look Michiru in the eyes. "I... 
needed her."
    
    "I didn't think you were capable of something like this," Michiru 
accused. Her words seemed tired though. She had thought too long, and 
her conclusions had long been made now. She shouldn't have hit the 
girl, although she had more than deserved it.
    
    "I didn't think so either," Ami replied. She looked up to see 
Michiru's hurt gaze. "I'm sorry. I couldn't help it."
    
    Michiru shook he head. "I won't let her go Ami-san. Not even for 
you."
    
    And with that Michiru turned and left, leaving Usagi staring 
dumbly after her. Minako tried to reach out for Ami's hand, but Ami 
didn't want to be there. She didn't want to answer Usagi's questions. 
She didn't want to be seen by her most innocently trusting friend as 
someone like that. Even if it was true. She just walked away, leaving 
everything at the table, and as Minako and Usagi called after her 
that walk became a tearful run.
    
    "W-what happened?" Usagi stammered, watching as Ami left, Michiru 
now long gone. Her eyes felt the itch of sympathetic tears for both 
of her friends. "What did Ami-chan do?"
    
    She thought she knew already of course. There was only so much 
interpretation that could be made after hearing what they had said to 
each other. Usagi just couldn't believe it. She didn't want to. None 
of it made any sense to her. 
    
    Minako just sighed, and picked up a few of Ami's bags, leaving 
the rest for Usagi to carry. The two of them had practically finished 
eating after all, and this had gone on for too long, and gone too 
far. So, once they were alone at Usagi's apartment, Minako told her. 
    
    Even if just confirmed her unwanted suspicions, it still took 
quite a while for Usagi to accept it as true. Even from Minako. 

***
    
    Mizuno Katsura looked at her map again. She rarely admitted it to 
people, but she had a very poor sense of direction. So much so that 
she had been fashionably late for her own wedding, at a time when 
fashionably late was more than looked down upon in Japan. As such she 
had become rather proficient at reading maps, and had even turned her 
hand to a little amateur cartography during her meagre spare time as 
she had studied for her doctorate.
    
    It had taken her a long time to find the address she had needed, 
so she could mark it on her map print-out. One of several addresses 
in fact, but any one would do. She didn't put it past herself to 
repeat the same thing as soon as she got home from work the following 
day, depending on what she heard tonight. It occurred to her that she 
should have called ahead, but she was too conscientious to try and 
find her mobile phone while she was driving.
    
    Reaching the right road she started looking for the house number, 
but she needn't have bothered. There, skipping away from her front 
door, Minako gave her parents a wave. Thankfully both she and Katsura 
had good brakes, or else the good doctor might have ended up treating 
one of her own victims that night. 
    
    Minako wobbled at the curb-side and lifted her hand in apology 
before she recognised who was inside. "Mizuno-sensei?"
    
    Katsura gave her a small wave and pulled up. "Minako-chan, you 
are heading out late tonight." Late being relative, she added to 
herself. It had not been dark for very long.
    
    "Not *that* late," Minako confirmed. "We're going out for some 
research!"
    
    "Oh?" That sounded like quite the excuse, coming from a young 
woman rather than a little girl. "Just don't cause too much trouble. 
I know what you and Usagi-chan used to get up to!"
    
    Minako flushed a little in embarrassment. "Yes Ma'am." Then, 
before she went on her way she turned back to Katsura. "Umm, I'm 
sorry about today. Could you tell Ami-chan we love her?"
    
    Katsura nodded. That girl had hit the problem right on the head. 
"Thank you, Minako-chan. I will."
    
    Minako nodded, glad to hear that, before she went to meet up with 
the rest of her friends. Katsura just watched the girl jog off before 
she walked her way up the short front path and rang on the Ainos' 
doorbell.
    
    "Good evening," Kikon greeted as she answered the door. "Can I 
help you?"
    
    "Hello Aino-san," Katsura said, bowing slightly. "I believe we 
met at Minako-chan's eighteenth birthday celebrations. I am Ami's 
mother."
    
    The little lights clicked on in Kikon's eyes and she returned 
Kamtsura's bow. "Oh, my apologies Mizuno-sensei. Please come in."
    
    "I didn't recognise you, it has been such a long time," Kikon 
said as she led her guest through to the living room. "Would you like 
anything to drink?"
    
    Katsura shook her head. "No thank you." Then, on second thoughts, 
"Actually, I'm sorry, could I have a coffee?"
    
    "Certainly." Then she turned into the house proper. "Yokozuki, we 
have a guest!"
    
    Minako's father soon emerged from his study. "Ah," he said, 
trying to place her face, and having better success than his wife, 
"Ami-chan's mother, yes? The doctor?"
    
    Katsura nodded. "It is a pleasure to meet you again, Aino-san," 
she said as they bowed to each other. "I apologise for coming around 
uninvited, but given our daughters' shared incident I needed to speak 
with you."
    
    Yokozuki looked concerned at that. "Has Minako done something?"
    
    Katsura shook her head as she accepted her drink from her 
hostess. "No. At least, I hope not. This is... about Ami. Can I speak 
in confidence, Aino-san?"
    
    "Certainly," Yokozuki replied, looking serious. "Ami-chan and our 
Minako have been close friends for more than long enough."
    
    "Is Ami-chan okay?" Kikon asked, mirroring her husband's 
sentiments.
    
    "She is unwell at present," Katsura answered, her voice soft and 
worried. "She had seemed to be recovering, but today... I came home 
to find her in tears again. Please, if Minako has given any 
indication of anything that might have happened while she was... 
away, that might have caused this. I hate to say it, but I am fearing 
for her state of mind now."
    
    That was quite an admission for anyone to make, especially to 
people that Katsura had not spoken with in several years. Both the 
Ainos knew it, and that weight came across in their replies.
    
    "I'm afraid not," Kikon said after that moment of silence. "I am 
sorry for Ami-chan's condition, but if there is anything more than 
she said on the television, she has not told us."
    
    "Not told us," Yokozuki interrupted, "but I have my own worries."
    
    Kikon looked at her husband in shock. "Dear, no, not this again."
    
    Katsura looked between them. "Please," she insisted. "Anything at 
all she might have said."
    
    Yokozuki shook his head. "She does not tell us, but there are 
things. Small things. So many, that I cannot help but wonder."
    
    Kikon looked down at her hands. "Yokozuki, this is ridiculous. 
Please, don't trouble her further..."
    
    Her husband didn't let her finish. "I know I am not much of a 
father," he said, "you tell Minako as much often enough, but you know 
I am right."
    
    "Then why can't you be more supportive of her!" Kikon countered. 
"You have not given her a single word of encouragement since she was 
in middle school!"
    
    Yokozuki closed his eyes when he heard that. The worst part was 
it was true. "She needs to leave her fantasies behind. She needs to 
see the truth. She has to want it enough to fight for it!"
    
    Katsura sat uncomfortably as her hosts argued, but she did not 
excuse herself. 
    
    Yokozuki finally made his point. "Lots of little things, Mizuno-
sensei, that put together, make something very large. I know you will 
not believe me, because I do not believe the conclusion myself, no 
matter how I try. Take tonight for example. You saw our daughter 
leave?"
    
    Katsura nodded.
    
    "She has done that on and off for the last six years. Even when 
she had nowhere to go. She will make her excuses to leave at the 
strangest times. We know that Usagi-chan used to do the same," he 
said with a smile. "We used to speak with the Tsukinos often, back 
when she was living at home." He sighed. "I do wonder when Minako 
will decide to move out, but I am glad to have her here. At least 
that way we know she is safe when she comes back from these 
'researches' they all go on.
    
    "When Ami-chan came back, she brought things, didn't she? Things 
that worried you?"
    
    Katsura forced herself to think about that as she tried to follow 
the Aino patriarch's thread. "She had some armour, in her bag. They 
had to fight there."
    
    Yokozuki nodded. "They were warriors. Minako brought home a pair 
of swords. She also brought home memories that keep her up at night. 
I would not be surprised if they had to fight harder than she 
admitted to those damnable reporters. Perhaps for their lives, and 
with lethal force."
    
    Katsura blanched at that. She had known it had been a 
possibility, but to have someone else share the idea that her 
daughter had been attacked with intent, and even forced to reply in 
kind, was something else entirely.
    
    "But it would not surprise me if she had managed capably," 
Yokozuki continued. "Minako would most often disappear when stories 
of monsters and the unexplained were prevalent in the news. And when 
we came back to Japan from England, Sailor V seemed to have the same 
itinerary as we did."
    
    Katsura looked at him aghast. "You don't mean..."
    
    "I didn't make the connection for several years," Yokozuki 
explained, while her wife put her head in her hands.
    
    "Yokozuki, don't!"
    
    "You can see it too dear," he said, as if he thought it would 
comfort her. He turned back to Katsura. "I don't believe it. The idea 
that Minako could be one of those ridiculous heroines is 
preposterous, and yet all the leads should make it seem so obvious. I 
know Minako is not a... normal girl. Hell, she has midnight 
conversations with her cat, and that animal even seems to speak 
back."
    
    He gave a somewhat haunted chuckle. "I have even gone so far as 
to try and coax words from it myself. But maybe the reason I cannot 
believe it is true, in spite of all the coincidence, is because I am 
not meant to. Perhaps not all the magic the Sailor Senshi wield is 
for combat. Can you imagine what it might mean if a superhero's 
parents knew of their children's power? It is better that we cannot 
believe, I think."
    
    "So yes, Mizuno-sensei," he said as he finished his fantastical 
narrative, "I think there may be any number of reasons for your 
daughter's condition, and just as many as to why she cannot, or must 
not, confide in you. Of course, I am not even able to believe any of 
this as true, and I would bet every yen I own that you feel the same. 
It is better that way. There is no harm in a father having wishful 
fantasies about what his daughter might be after all, when he knows 
in his head that they cannot be true."
    
    He gave Katsura a surprisingly comforting look. "As long as you 
do what you are able, the Senshi will attend to themselves. We may 
not know much about them, but even we can see them progress in the 
news reports and gossip columns."
    
    Katsura couldn't believe it. It was the idealistic ramblings of a 
lunatic, obsessed with his daughter's position and status. Even the 
very concept was laughable. But then, as he said, surely that was the 
point? And if so, what could she do to comfort Ami now?
    
    And from beneath the settee Artemis lay, his tail thrashing 
worriedly. Minako's father had it dead to rights. 'This is bad.'

***
    
    That night's hunting had once again proved fruitless for the 
Senshi. Either the youma were simply sitting on their hands in the 
depths of the Tokyo sewer systems, or some place equally unpleasant 
and labyrinthine, or they were able to cloak their activities beyond 
the Senshi's powers to detect. Setsuna had only stumbled onto the 
activities of the super-jointed shiva demon and the fox girl after 
all.
    
    "That seems to be the way it happens too often," Usagi lamented, 
sitting at Makoto's living room table the following morning. The 
girl's flat was back to rights after several spates of cleaning, but 
it had taken her a while to invite them all over. "Until they start 
trying to get us out of the way," Usagi added. 
    
    "Coincidence is a powerful tool of fate," Rei agreed, "but it's a 
bit too fickle to count on."
    
    Makoto shrugged as she tucked into her breakfast bowl of cereal. 
"There's nothing wrong with getting lucky. We shouldn't look gift 
horses in the mouth."
    
    "I was going to say that!" Minako said, grumping that her proverb 
had been stolen out from under her. "It's all that bad horse-breath. 
Anyway, that's just the way it works. Power attracts power, and we're 
pretty powerful!"
    
    "Well, worrying isn't going to make it any better," Makoto said, 
saying what the rest of them wanted to think. "We can't track them 
down if we don't have anything to go on. Something will turn up. We 
can fight at the last minute if we have to. We've done that before, 
and these ones didn't seem too strong."
    
    "They got away from all ten of us," Minako reminded. "And stop 
looking like that Rei-chan," she added, seeing her friend's face 
fall, "No-one is blaming you."
    
    Makoto nodded and gave Rei's hand a quick squeeze. Usagi smiled 
at them, but it wasn't nearly her usual, carefree sort of smile. 
"Yeah, it doesn't matter Rei-chan. I'm proud that you protected 
everyone. I know you wouldn't have done it if you had a choice."
    
    Rei had to sniff, knowing she was far too old to get so emotional 
over that reassurance. "Thanks, dumpling-head."
    
    "Hey, I'm being nice here!" Usagi said, taking her turn to grump 
as Rei made fun of her. She sighed, her mind turning back to other 
things, "It would be better if Ami was here. She'd be able to find 
them in no time, I bet."
    
    The other three looked down at the table, and Makoto spooned the 
last of her breakfast into her mouth, just to stop herself saying 
anything. Of course, she had to say it anyway. "Like I said, worrying 
isn't going to make it any better, Usagi-chan. She made her decision, 
and now this is the consequence."
    
    "Mako-chan!" Usagi all but cried, "You're her best friend!" Her 
voice soften as she realised she was shouting. "How can you say it 
like that?"
    
    Makoto looked shamefaced at that, but she wasn't going to take 
those words back. She was speaking her mind, and she felt that she 
had it right. "She is, but she knew what she was doing. She's smart. 
Maybe that means she wanted someone more, or maybe it was because of 
that wine, but she didn't regret it. I hope she still doesn't, even 
if it means loving someone who can't love her back."
    
    Usagi looked to Makoto with tears glistening in her eyes, 
eternally sympathetic for the plights of her friends. "She really 
loves Haruka-san?"
    
    Both Rei and Makoto nodded. "I think so," Rei said. "She hasn't 
said so since we got back, but the way you said she was looking 
yesterday..."
    
    "I know unrequited love," Makoto agreed. "Maybe Ami-chan doesn't 
react like me, but that sounds like it."
    
    "I guess I can see why Michiru-san was so angry," Usagi said, 
fiddling with her thumbs. "Hotaru-chan said that Haruka-san and Ami-
chan were meeting up so that Ami-chan would feel better."
    
    "You don't think they..." Rei said, coming to an obvious if 
unwanted conclusion.
    
    Makoto shook her head. "Ami-chan is smarter than that. She knew 
the limits of what she could have. I'm sure."
    
    Rei gave her an unhappy look after that. "I guess I was too 
wrapped up to listen to her after all," she said glumly. Some friend 
she was, she thought.
    
    "Tell me about it," Makoto agreed. "I had an empty message on my 
machine from her number. But you need a shoulder too Rei."
    
    Rei looked at her, appreciating the thought, but it didn't make 
her feel much better about it.
    
    "But why didn't she tell me?" Usagi asked, feeling forlorn that 
she hadn't been trusted to know. "You could have told me. I wouldn't 
have said anything."
    
    "That's why," Minako replied seriously. "It was supposed to stay 
secret, once we were back. They both wanted it that way. We promised. 
I guess Haruka-san just felt too bad about it or something."
    
    Usagi nodded, understanding that. "Actually, I think I know how 
Ami felt, just a little bit."
    
    The other three were surprised at that, and Usagi found three 
pairs of eyes looking at her strangely. "It's kind of embarrassing." 
However, none of them pushed her. Thinking back at least one of them 
could imagine what Usagi meant, and it was behind them now anyway. 
Their princess was living with her destined prince, and they were 
both happy.
    
    "Does Ami-chan know that?" Makoto asked eventually. "She didn't 
want you to look down on her. Maybe, if she knew that you know how 
she feels, it would help."
    
    Usagi didn't meet Makoto's eyes. "It wasn't exactly the same. I 
didn't..."
    
    "I don't think the specifics matter. She thinks a lot of you, as 
a friend, and she values your trust."
    
    Usagi took a moment, before she gave a hesitant nod. "Maybe after 
we leave Rei-chan's tonight." She turned to the girl in question. 
"Are you going to be okay, doing the reading for us?"
    
    Rei nodded. "We need to find those youma, so I'll do it. I'm the 
one that let them get away. It's not nearly as specific as Ami's 
computer or Michiru-san's mirror, but it's worth a try. As long as 
everyone is there we should get something at least."
    
    Usagi nodded in thanks. "I'll tell Michiru-san and the others 
when I see her this afternoon. And I'll talk to her about Ami-chan as 
well.  And see if Haruka-san is okay."
    
    She sighed. "I hope Hotaru-chan is okay too."

***
    
    Michiru looked better now, Usagi thought. Still not right, but at 
least she had smiled genuinely when the girl had turned up on the 
doorstep, her practice muffins in hand.
    
    "I'm sorry you had to see that, Usagi-chan," Michiru said, taking 
one of the cakelettes and ushering her guest in. "I should have 
handled it better than I did."
    
    Usagi shook her head. "I guess I can understand. But it did hurt. 
I don't want two of my best friends fighting."
    
    Michiru sighed as they entered the kitchen, and took a chair for 
herself. "We won't fight," she reassured. "I don't think Ami-san 
wants to, and I'm too tired for it now. I just... I want it to go 
away."
    
    "You still love her, don't you?" Usagi asked, but it wasn't much 
of a question. More of a prompt. 
    
    "Yes," Michiru replied, the muffin encircled in her hands. "But 
love isn't the issue."
    
    Of course not, Usagi thought. There was no way that those two 
could fail to love each other, but trust was something far more 
fragile. Usagi felt bad for her. Michiru didn't deserve this. But 
then, neither did Haruka. Or Ami. But Michiru most of all. She hadn't 
even had a say in it. She just had to suffer the consequences, while 
the pair in question hoped that she would forgive them. Under the 
circumstances, that was a difficult thing to do.
    
    Michiru took a bite out of the muffin, and chewed slowly. "Hmm, 
it is still a little floury Usagi-chan. You shouldn't be so timid 
with the flavourings, just because you used to over-spice 
everything."
    
    Usagi nodded. She knew it, but she wanted Michiru's help with 
them, so she wasn't about to try and cover up her mistakes.
    
    Which was, strangely, exactly what Michiru advised. "It's nothing 
terminal though. A little flavoured icing would fix it easily."
    
    Usagi smiled at the roundabout praise. It was a far cry from the 
stern admonishments Michiru had dolled out when they had started.
    
    Michiru's mind wasn't really on the cake though. "I'm sorry 
Usagi-chan, but I would like to cancel our lesson today."
    
    The blonde nodded, the sadness creeping back into her eyes as the 
blue cloud over Michiru reappeared. "Okay. But we're having a fire 
reading tonight, at Rei-chan's shrine. She says we should all be 
there."
    
    Michiru nodded. She did not relish the thought of seeing Ami 
again so soon, but this was work. She could be professional. "We will 
be there, and I'll tell Setsuna as well."
    
    Usagi nodded. "Thank you." Then she paused, biting her lip just a 
little. "Umm, is Haruka-san here?"
    
    Michiru nodded. It annoyed her that Usagi wanted Haruka's 
company, no doubt to try and make her feel better, but the pair of 
them had always been good friends. As long as they hadn't been 
enemies in their sailor outfits. She shook her head a little to clear 
away those thoughts. That had been a long time ago, and of course 
Usagi was worried about her. She had come to comfort Michiru herself 
after all, and such a sweet girl wouldn't be able to bear playing 
favourites.
    
    "She's in the garage."
    
    "Thank you Michiru-san," Usagi said, with a reassuring smile. "Be 
strong. It'll all work out, you'll see."

***
    
    In the garage Haruka sat crouched in front of her motorbike. She 
worked on it mechanically, not really noticing what she was doing as 
she cleaned it and kept it in good, tight shape. Until Usagi called 
her name, that was.
    
    "Haruka-san?"
    
    Haruka wobbled a little in surprise, before plopping backwards to 
actually sit on the floor. She hadn't been expecting any company for 
a while yet. "Dumpling," she said in an affectionate but unusually 
listless voice, "to what do I owe the pleasure?"
    
    Usagi just shook her head. Haruka was still Haruka, even now. "I 
wanted to see how you were doing? Are you okay?"
    
    So Usagi knew, Haruka thought. She dropped that playful air. It 
was too hard right now anyway. "I'm okay, I think. I guess we'll just 
have to wait and see." She gave Usagi a smile, but it was full of 
longing. "I screwed up."
    
    But that wasn't right either. "We did what we needed. I can live 
with the consequences. I just wish they didn't hurt so much."
    
    Usagi didn't know what to make of that. Was Haruka making excuses 
to her? To herself? She didn't want to think about that, because it 
just reminded her how much she hurt seeing Michiru so depressed.
    
    "How is Hotaru-chan?"
    
    Haruka looked back to her bike, but didn't really see it. "I 
don't know," she said honestly. "I haven't seen her."
    
    "Oh." That must have hurt so much, for both of them, but Usagi 
couldn't find anything else to say. 

***
    
    It had been awkwardly quiet at the shrine as the younger girls 
had waited for their older counterparts. Despite Minako and Usagi's 
best efforts, conversation had been short and abrupt. Ami wasn't 
being talkative - who could blame her? - and the other four seemed 
cautious of saying anything that might offend her, even though they 
wanted her to talk about her feelings with them. At least then they 
would have been out in the open, and they could have tried to comfort 
her. As it was even the cats seemed uncomfortable, and Artemis lay on 
Minako's lap, his tail involuntarily restless, while Luna simply sat 
with a wary gaze in her eyes. 
    
    But, as it was, Ami broke the quiet herself by dragging Makoto 
away for a moment, under a natural pretext: everyone was grateful for 
the offer of drinks, just to break the silence.
    
    Of course they had all seen through it easily, Makoto most of 
all. "Ami-chan, what is it?"
    
    Ami gave her a ghost of a smile as she got the glasses from Rei's 
kitchen cupboard. "Don't worry Mako-chan, I won't break. I just 
wanted to say something. We have been good friends for a long time. 
You keep saying that I can talk to you if I need to, but you do know 
that you can do the same, come to me if you ever need help, I mean. 
If you need money, for example."
    
    Makoto looked at her in surprise, before her face hardened a 
little. Where had that come from all of a sudden? "Rei..."
    
    "Don't think of blaming her," Ami said, pre-empting Makoto's 
thoughts. "School is important Mako-chan, not like all our other 
silly problems. If you ever needed money, then Mother would be more 
than willing to help you." 
    
    Ami's smile grew strangely amused, halting Makoto's comeback. 
"She likes you, you know. She thinks that you are a very strong 
person, growing up alone and making a success of yourself. She 
respects you a great deal, as we all do. Please remember that."
    
    Makoto was knocked reeling by that admission. Someone like 
Mizuno-sensei respected an awkward orphan who got kicked out of 
middle school for fighting? For that moment her worries were turned 
completely on their head. "Uhh, thank you, Ami-chan. But... I can't 
take money from you..." 
    
    Ami thrust a drink into the girl's hands and shushed her. "Yes 
you can, if you need to. Even if it's just a loan. If you wanted to, 
you could pay us back at any time."
    
    Makoto blinked, feeling very stupid in comparison to her long-
time friend. Ami on the other hand just poured the other drinks. "I 
should have said it ages ago," Ami finished. "But I've been rather 
selfish lately."
    
    "Don't talk like that," Makoto replied, taking a share of the 
drinks, but as they headed back any further conversation was 
curtailed as they heard the main door slide open, and shut.
    
    The 'Outers' were there. Ami paused and took a breath before she 
returned, and she was careful to hand out her friends' drinks before 
she turned to see the others. Michiru and Haruka looked very self 
possessed, as she had expected. They above any of them, except 
perhaps Setsuna, could set their own emotions aside when it came to 
their work, even without their sailor suits. Setsuna herself on the 
other hand carried an air of compassion in her eyes. As usual it 
seemed that she knew more than the rest of them, although how much 
was always debatable. It actually made Ami feel a little better, 
knowing that someone could see something she could not, from such a 
far removed perspective as Setsuna had. It did at least give her hope 
that this was simply a moment in the passing of their lives, and not 
the terminus that it sometimes felt like.
    
    And then she saw Hotaru. There was fire in her eyes, eyes which 
usually held such a calm and wise smile, be it one of genuine 
happiness or one of sad understanding. Ami knew what was coming, but 
she didn't try to move. If anyone deserved to hit her, it was Hotaru. 
Ami remembered what it was like being a teenager like her, and under 
surprisingly similar circumstances. They were both disliked at times 
for their talents.
    
    It was only a weak slap, almost hesitant, but if anything it hurt 
more than Michiru nearly knocking her off her feet. Ami had seen it 
coming, and had felt it from the girl's eyes rather than her hand. 
Hotaru recoiled instinctively as soon as she had done it, still 
angry, but now fearful and apologetic as well. "I'm sorry!" she 
blurted, "but... How could you!" She threw down a magazine, the page 
open to show a photo of her mother and Ami in the aftermath of the 
hit she had received at the cafe. 
    
    So it had been published after all, Ami thought. And with a 
similarly dramatic article no doubt, entirely made up of supposition 
and gossip. She had an irrational urge to read it, but she knew that 
whatever it said it would only upset her. Goodness only knew what 
stories they had created to give the image some sort of meaning.
    
    "Hotaru! Stop it." 
    
    Hotaru whirled around on her heels, suddenly confused as she was 
scolded. "But Michiru-mama!"
    
    Both Michiru and Setsuna shook their heads. "That's enough," 
Michiru said, her aura of collected competence slipping for a moment 
to show just how emotionally drained she was. 
    
    As it happened Makoto found herself looked at Haruka. She just 
stood there, almost dispassionately. What was going on inside her 
head? Why didn't she stand up for herself, or at least for one of the 
girls, no matter whose side it was!
    
    But the moment passed, and a stern voice turned every head in the 
room. "We aren't here to quarrel, and certainly not to fight each 
other!" Luna castigated. This wasn't just the voice of Usagi's long 
suffering cat now, this was the voice of a royal advisor, who had had 
more than enough of their foolishness. "Just because you are not in 
uniform does not mean your mission is your second priority now! If 
you must bicker and squabble then do so when we are not assembled for 
important business, and you can be sure that I will have words to say 
on this matter when you do!"
    
    Then, satisfied that her girls had been properly spoken to by 
their dumbstruck faces or downcast eyes, she took a deep breath to 
calm herself. "Rei-chan, if you would please."
    
    Rei stood as one of the dumbstruck for a moment longer, before 
she nodded and led them all through to the fire room. 'Here goes 
nothing,' she thought as she took her seat in front of the huge 
contained blaze, and closed her eyes, reaching out for the spirit of 
the fire. She tried to put what she had just seen out of her mind.
    
    A first there was nothing. That was always the way. She was 
slowly clearing her mind, focusing her consciousness into the flames. 
Sometimes it would be minutes before she saw the first snatch of an 
image, other times it could be hours. She never knew at the time. One 
minute it would just be the roar of them flames, the next she was 
there. She saw herself running, with the rest of the Senshi. It was 
the same as her nightmare had been, running through the blackness, 
and somehow, along the way, they disappeared, one by one. But there 
was more this time. There were flashes of presence. One black and 
bitter, another angry and flailing bluely. 'That shiva demon,' Rei 
thought, before another flash, this one of muscles and determination. 
A few feathers fell into the blackness, only to catch the wind and 
soar.
    
    Then Rei remembered what happened next, and it did. The hand 
touched her shoulder, from in front this time, and Rei no longer 
controlled the flames. They controlled her. She was burning. She 
screamed, and jerked out from the trance, scrambling back away from 
her fire. She knew that touch. "No!"
    
    Only Usagi's arms were there to bring her back as she tried to 
shake off that nightmarish feeling. She looked up to see the others 
just staring at the fire, and Makoto standing in front of her, only 
inches from the licking flames, with her arms spread wide.
    
    It was Desir. She grinned from the fire, her own flaming hair 
flowing down her neck as the spiritual fire licked across her orange 
skin.  She sat there with gleeful red eyes and a blade-fanged smirk 
that was painted across her orange lips. "Aw, is that any way to 
treat an old friend?" she asked, feigning hurt and grinning all the 
wider. "And little Rei has done so well! Her knight in technicolor 
armour is ready to get incinerated for her! Aren't you the noble 
one!"
    
    "Leave!" Makoto and Haruka barked in unison, Haruka already 
raising her transformation pen. "You won't have her again!" Makoto 
said, her voice deadly serious.
    
    "Oh, calm down dear," Desir said with a careless wave. "I'm not 
here to 'get' her. I have a present!"
    
    From a non-existent pocket in the clothes she was not wearing she 
pulled out a small, purple ball. It looked smooth, and shimmered as 
Desir rolled it around in her hand. "Here, catch!" She tossed it 
lightly to Haruka, who reached out to catch it reflexively.
    
    The second she did she regretted it. Who in their right mind 
would have taken gift from a demonette without at least seeing what 
it was first? But her body, trained by years of sports practice, had 
decided for her. The second the ball touched her skin the glass-like 
surface folded and broke, dissolving away as Haruka's hand was bathed 
in wisps of light purple smoke.
    
    Her heart sank as she felt a familiar chill, but this time it 
ravaged her body like a snowstorm. She felt that essence of somebody 
else permeating her body, but on a level she had never known existed 
when she had been apprentice to the Warlocks of Seiji. This was so 
far beyond her that it made her head hurt just to think about what it 
might mean.
    
    And so much of that essence felt familiar. It was Master Daltass, 
mixed with something uneven, like a wind-whipped thread woven into 
the calm cloth, which she could only guess was Desir herself. And 
someone else she didn't recognise; human, but who hadn't communed 
with her in the Art. Her hands went to her stomach and chest in 
worry. "What did you do? What did you do to me?! Why did it feel like 
Master Daltass?!"
    
    Desir just smiled. "	Oh, that bastard gave me a little parting 
gift, to keep me occupied I suppose, in case I ever found my little 
Rei again. It took me ages to work out what he'd done too. I think I 
was actually supposed to give it to Ami, but I don't think it matters 
too much in your case!"
    
    Haruka swallowed hard, remembering, and her left hand went to 
join her right on her stomach. "You didn't... He wouldn't..."
    
    Desir's smile was positively glowing, but the trace of malicious 
mischief there was undeniable. "Wish granted, Haruka-kun!"
    
***

To Be Continued...

***

Author's Notes: Yes, I'm evil, putting in a cliff-hanger like that! I 
would say not to write to me about it, but anyone giving feedback 
probably will anyway!
                Also, my apologies to whoever came up with the second 
half of the chapter title this time around. I know I've read it 
somewhere before, and I'm sure it's been used many times since, but 
it just wouldn't stay deleted. And imitation is the most sincere for 
of flattery after all! 

Please send any comments and constructive criticism to:

nutzoide@nutzoide.net

They are always greatly appreciated, and there is no better reward 
for a writer than to hear back from the readers.

Many thanks to Richard King for his proofreading assistance.

(c) Nutzoide 2007

http://www.nutzoide.net