Before we start let's get one thing straight: Tenchi Muyo and everything that officially comprises it is owned by AIC and Pioneer. This is unofficial and the story and original characters I create belong to me, so I'd be grateful if you ask before using them in something else. Please, PLEASE don't sue me. I'm only doing this for fun! *** Faith, Hope & Carrot Soup - A Tenchi Muyo Fan-Fiction By Nutzoide - Chapter 1: Peace and Quiet? Tenchi darted into the living room, his eyes scanning for some clue as to the whereabouts of the others. he thought as he tried to find some scrap of proof that the others were around, or at least all right. He looked over at the calendar. The worried teen ran over to the cot in the corner of the room, an unpleasantly familiar crawling sensation rising in his stomach. Usually one of the girls would have her in the mornings, and if they were gone... His mind screamed at him as he looked down at his infant's empty crib. As he stepped back and his foot slipped from under him. He gave a growl of pain, wincing as his backside took the force of the impact with the wooden floor, and looked over at the cause of his fall. It was a half eaten carrot. Tenchi panicked and ran to his room. *** A few minutes walk from the house the battle had finally begun. Each side faced off over the wooden decking, each determined to be the victor. The first swing was made. Washu was monitoring the situation carefully. One false move and the result could be catastrophic. She looked at each fighter, praying that the battle could be won quickly. Sasami was holding Mayuka tightly protecting her from any debris with as good an energy shield as she could create. With an almighty lurch the roof gave way. Ryoko and Ayeka looked at each other with terrified expressions. They each managed a strangled scream before they were engulfed in the falling timber as the entire right side of the roof fell apart. *** Tenchi came down the stairs as fast as he could. He missed the last step and came crashing to the floor, his lip splitting as it made contact with the polished wood. His mind didn't even register the pain as he scrambled to his feet. It was something big if it could tear Ryo-ohki away halfway though a carrot. He managed to stop himself just in time to open the glass door before careering out onto the grass, the Tenchi- ken grasped in his hand, as though if he held hard enough it might lead him to them. All he could hear now was the blood pumping in his ears as he looked frantically around for some clue as to where they might be. Over to his left, just in the trees by the wooded path that led up to the rear of the Masaki Shrine, he saw what he was looking for. The rising cloud was faint, but it was still there. He ran like a man possessed. *** In less that a minute he reached the small path-side clearing. He had seen many things since the girls had arrived in his life, but this was by far the strangest. Ryoko and Ayeka. Covered in dust. Writhing around on top of each other! Washu and Sasami were rolling around in fits of laughter with Mayuka looking fascinated at the spectacle from Sasami's arms. Ryo-ohki was in her toddler form and was running around giggling and removing the debris from the pair as they disentangled themselves, all the while glowering at each other. His father and grandfather were kneeling on the left side of the roof nailing it down while Azaka and Kamidake seemed to be manoeuvring the planks Ryo-ohki passed them back onto the right side using their force fields. They too were covered in dust and dirt. And in the middle of all this was a shed. One side was taller than the other, the roof was a bit lop-sided and the door and its frame, though fitting together perfectly, were definitely not rectangular. It was rather like something out of one of those weird American Tim Burton films he had seen. But it *was* a shed. Tenchi tucked the Tenchi-ken into his pocket and scratched his head. He felt relieved. He also felt like a complete prat. Washu caught sight of him as she tried to calm herself. "Ah, he he, Tenchi-dono. I was wondering when you'd be coming round." Tenchi decided he might as well find out what was going on, and whether it would end up causing him any trouble. Just having the girls there was trouble enough. "Umm... Washu-chan?" he asked cautiously, "What's going on here? What is that?" Washu turned on her cute charm and said, "It's a shed Tenchi!" Tenchi just looked at her with an expression that said 'You know very well what I mean!' The diminutive scientist giggled and got back to her usual self. "More specifically, it's *your* shed Tenchi." "Washu," he started, "we already have a shed. You know, the one halfway up this path." "No," she replied, "this is *your* shed. That old thing up there is fine for all that stuff for the shrine. *This* is for your carrot fields." She beamed at him. Tenchi just looked puzzled at this. "Umm, Washu-chan, the fields are a good five or ten minute walk. In *that* direction." he said, pointing back towards the house. "Hey, that's what *I* said," said Ryoko as she finished extricating herself from the piles of wood and nails and sidled up to the pair. "But, well, you know her! And besides," she whispered to him, "you know I only did it for you, hmmm?" "Ryoko-san! He's only been here two minutes and you're already starting with him! As if Tenchi-sama didn't have enough to do without having to keep you at bay." Ayeka, a royal Juraian mass of cuts and bruises thanks to her premature burial, stormed up to the ex-pirate. "And I would have thought fishing for compliments like that would be beneath even you. Evidently you can't even think of helping Tenchi-sama for his sake like the rest of us. *Noooo*, you have to collapse the roof too!" The indignant Ryoko was fed up with this. "Who are you to say that. You swung at me with the plank!" "Only because you couldn't be bothered to line up Washu's containment sensors correctly!" Ayeka retorted. "You heard what would happen if that temporal duality... thing went wrong." "Well if you hadn't been so slow laying the boarding I could have had them in the right place *AGES* ago!" Ryoko yelled back. Tenchi and Washu could see where this was going and decided to leave them to it. They wandered over to Sasami and Mayuka while the other two bickered. "Hi girls. You okay?" "Good morning Tenchi nii-chan. We're fine, aren't we Mayuka-chan?" Sasami lifted the baby up, who giggled riotously (or at least a riotously as a baby can). They all smiled as Sasami handed her over to her father. "I've got some breakfast if you want it." "Thanks Sasami-chan," he said as he took his daughter, "but I think I'd better help Dad and Grandpa." "Ah nonsense," Washu said as she picked up her own breakfast box. "Those old guys are nearly done." "And anyway, we did it to help you Onii-chan. And we're all going to help you in the fields too." Tenchi smiled. "Thanks Sasami-chan. All that weeding make a lot of work." "And that's why I, Washu, the greatest agricultural genius in the universe, have made this!" Washu plucked a bottle out of her subspace hole and held it up. "Washu's multi-purpose weed killer and salad dressing!" Sasami and Tenchi just stared at her. Mayuka decided it was time for a nap. "I just hope weeds are all it kills," was Tenchi's only comment. Washu cracked a huge grin. "Of course. In fact, it brings out the flavour of the carrots too. That's why it's a salad dressing as well." "Wow, Washu, that's great!" said Sasami, obviously exited. "Naturally," came Washu's fairly typical reply. "Well, actually those are the only things I know it does so far, but I'm sure there's more, otherwise I'd have called it dual-purpose. Don't worry though. I'll find them out eventually." Tenchi and Sasami sweatdropped as Washu sprinkled some of the oily red liquid over her breakfast, then started shovelling the new 'delicacy' in. On the roof the two men had finished their work and climbed down. Actually, since the ladder had long since fallen over, Katsuhito jumped down with his usual grace, and Nobuyuki clambered off backwards with very little grace indeed, but at least he landed on his feet. "Okay Washu-chan, we're done," called Nobuyuki. "I'd better get back to my work. Thanks to my little granddaughter there I've manage to do nothing for the last three days." "Aa, hank ou Ohuhuki-dono," was Washu's reply though a mouthful of red rice. "And I should be getting back to the shrine," added Katsuhito, leaving before anyone could comment. "Washu," Tenchi said turning to her, "you still haven't said why you decided we needed a new shed here, and why it looks like that." "I'll explain when we get back to the house and I can activate it. And you can put little sleeping beauty to bed." Sasami gathered up the remains of their meals and headed off with the others, Tenchi cradling Mayuka and Washu wondering the best way to explain temporal translocation theory within bilateral dimension inlets so that the human mind could understand. *** Ayeka and Ryoko looked at each other. The princess now had a few more bruises to add to herself from the fall and was aching or stinging pretty much everywhere. A small trickle of blood seeped from the back of her left hand where a nail had caught it rather badly when she had landed. Ryoko was now covered in little black burn marks and was smoking slightly. Her hair stuck out more than usual and in a variety of directions. This fight had landed her a good hit from one of Ayeka's electricity fields. "I need a bath," said Ryoko wearily. "Me too," replied Ayeka. They headed off to have a good soak in the onsen that floated above the Masaki grounds. Meanwhile, back at the new shed, the two Juraian guardians watch as the others wandered back to the house. "I wonder why we always get left out?" said Kamidake as he finished pushing in the last nail on the roof with his foot pod. "We are only servants," replied Azaka, "although a little recognition every now and then would be nice." Kamidake thought for a moment. "Well, at least we don't have to weed." "True, true," replied his consanguine compatriot. The two huge logs floated down and back to the gate of the Masaki residence, discussing what it meant to be an organically based artificially intelligent life form. They always had plenty of time for philosophy. There wasn't much else to do. *** Down in the town, something teal stirred in its futon. "Ah, good morning sleepy-head," said Mihoshi as she wandered back into the main room. The teal hair parted as Kiyone slowly sat up and gave a yawn. She felt groggy as hell, but at least it was a good well slept groggy. Most mornings were a nightmare for her. "Morning... Mihoshi," Kiyone managed as she focused back into the world. "What time is it?" "Umm... It's about ten thirty I think," she replied, evidently as awake and energetic as she could get, which was quite a bit. "Did you sleep well? You were still up when I went to bed you know." Kiyone got up and stretched. "Yeah, eventually. I haven't slept that well in weeks." She headed off into the kitchen for some coffee. "Have we got any bills left over? I've almost finished the... DID YOU SAY TEN THIRTY?!?" Mihoshi looked up from the left over post towards the kitchen. "Yes, I did, but it's more like ten thirty five now." the blonde thought, Just like the last time. And all the last times for the past three days. "Err, Kiyone, I just remembered. It will actually be ten twenty because..." Kiyone cut her off. "Never mind Mihoshi! Just get dressed, we're already late!" She flew back into the room (not literally, unlike Ryoko she couldn't do that) fumbling with her bra strap while trying to put on her socks using just her toes. Mihoshi couldn't understand that. She was already dressed. Although she reasoned she should probably change since she slept in them. She stripped off and pulled on a sweatshirt and baggy trousers while Kiyone fought with her jeans. "Kiyone? How are we late?" Mihoshi asked genuinely puzzled. "We don't work on Sunday remember? And we don't have patrol 'till this evening." Kiyone didn't have time for a debate on logic with her. How could she have forgotten to set her alarm? Simple, she'd been knackered. "We were supposed to be helping Washu remember?" Naturally Mihoshi's memory needed jogging. "Try and get that shed built before he gets up. Plus Tenchi asked if we could help in the fields since he's got to weed before he plants the next crop." "Oh yeah!" Mihoshi beamed as she remembered and started packing away their futons. "That was a really nice idea you know? And since we moved out we haven't really helped them out as much so it's kind of like a thank you isn't it? And I havn't seen them all week because we've been so busy..." She paused. Tenchi always slept heavily. She remembered that from she when she tripped over him when he fell asleep in front of the TV. She thought it was really funny how he didn't wake up then even when she fell into his lap. But he *did* get up by the time Sasami had finished making breakfast. Because Sasami always made breakfast around the same time (which was late enough for Ryoko to be up but early enough so she wasn't hungry herself) everyone was used to getting up for that time. It was routine, like when Kiyone and she went on patrol. And that would mean... "Umm... Kiyone? Won't Tenchi be up by now?" "That's why we're late Mihoshi!" Mihoshi was confused. "Then... why were you still sleep Kiyone?" "Because I overslept! I forgot to set my alarm clock! My partner didn't remember and wake me up! Okay?" To Mihoshi all three made perfect sense. "Oh. Okay, but next time you shou-woooeeeaaah!" she cried as Kiyone grabbed her wrist and dragged her out of the apartment. Kiyone locked the door and started off towards the Masaki's place. Better to get going before Mihoshi managed to dig herself even further into her nerves. *** Tenchi finished tucking his daughter into her crib and headed off to find Washu, resigned to another long lecture he had no hope of understanding. He headed through the door under the stairs and into the vast space that was Washu's laboratory. The oval decking was bare except for a large floating computer bank. No Washu. He headed off through the grass below and through the soon-appearing door, only to find himself in the massive aquarium that served as a relaxation centre for its owner. But no Washu. Back through the door and he was standing in the beautiful Juraian-style room that housed the growing Ryu-oh. A wooden circle sat at the centre of the room, a circular patterning of water channels leading to the tree. No Washu. Back through the door and into the little room full of wires and straps and monitors and lights. He suppressed a mental shudder. If she was in here he didn't want to find her. He soon found himself back at the entrance deck, wondering whether he should try one of the other doors. This one seemed to take him everywhere except where he wanted to go. He almost jumped out of skin when the voice broke into his thoughts. "Ah, Tenchi-dono. Where have you been?" It was Washu. Tenchi decided telling her that her door took him on a whirlwind tour of sub-space wasn't a good strategy. "Oh, I just got here. You said you would tell me about that shed?" "Oh yes, of course. Follow me." She headed in the door that Tenchi had just left. He followed, not looking forward to Washu discovering one of her doors didn't work right. When he found himself in the small 'lecture theatre' he decided to file it under 'weird space type things' and sat down in one of the school desks that suddenly popped out of the solid stone floor. Sasami gave him a sympathetic look and they settled down for the talk. Washu strolled back in wearing her full Science Academy garb and rolled down the screen. "Now Tenchi, and Sasami, the purpose of this shed," up came a picture of said shed, "is to facilitate the saving of both time and energy when travelling between the house," picture of their house, "and the fields." A picture of the fields popped up. Both Tenchi and Sasami nodded. "This is made possible because the shed incorporates my latest, and smallest, spatial transference emitters. Because the shed exists both in temporal space and..." Sasami shot her hand up. "Yes Sasami-chan." "Washu-sensei, what is a spatial tans... thingy emitter?" "Right, good question. A spatial transference emitter is a device that allows an object to pass from a point in space to a point in sub-space by passing through the field it creates." At Sasami and Tenchi's nod she continued. "Because the shed exists both in temporal, or real space, and sub-space it allows you to move from point A, the shed you saw, to sub-space, and then on to point B, the shed I put up at the carrot fields." An image came up showing a shed split down the middle with a lot of arrows, notes and little chibi-Washus. This time Tenchi raised his hand. "So it's like your doors here then. I go in at this end and when I come out I'm somewhere else." Washu beamed. "Yes exactly, but these doors will only go to one place, instead of wherever you want to go. My lab doors hover between real space and sub-space, so you only need the one to go anywhere in the lab. I thought that might freak out some of the less sub-spatially aware members of the household though, so in the shed the doors are anchored. One door will go from here to the shed and back, the other from the shed to the carrot fields and back." She beamed again, silently congratulating herself for the amazingly user friendly design of it all. Sasami tentatively raised her hand again. "Yes Sasami-chan?" "Umm, Washu-sensei? There is only one door in the shed." "What?" "When we made the shed, there was only one door." Washu looked at the blue haired girl for a second. She quickly ducked behind her podium and came out with armfuls of schematics. As she poured over them looking for such an obvious mistake Sasami and Tenchi looked over at each other and shrugged. *** While the greatest scientific genius in the universe was trying to live up to her title Ayeka and Ryoko were taking a soak in the onsen. Ryoko lay floating by one of the waterfalls the multi layered baths created, only her face visible above the water, a small dish of sake balanced between her submerged breasts. She let out a sigh. was the only thought she could summon at the moment. "It is rather pleasant isn't it?" Ayeka's voice drifted across the water. "Mmm hmmm." "... Could you pass the sake please?" Ryoko cracked open her eyes. She hooked her toe under the rim of the requested wash bucket and pushed it over to the reclining princess, who stopped it with her right hand. Ryoko smiled as she set a dish in the water and tried to pour one handed, her left held floating in front of her. "You know, Washu should probably see to that. You wouldn't want it to blemish that oh so beautiful skin of yours." "True," Ayeka replied, blatantly ignoring the sarcasm in her companion's voice, "such beautiful skin requires care you know." Ryoko laughed. "Tsunami knows you need every advantage you can get!" Ayeka didn't rise to it. "It is nice that I really do have Tsunami on my side." She took a sip of her sake. This brought Ryoko up short. She had never been good at wordplay.